Bristol Fostering

One question I am often asked about fostering is – ‘Are the children naughty?’ This is a perplexing question in some regards. There are many layers to it. It suggests the person has heard that children in care do naughty things. It also suggests that the person to an extent believes this and wants it verifying by a real life foster carer. And to a lesser extent it suggests the person is probing to see whether they could look after any child who is ‘less than angelic’. It also makes one question what ‘naughtiness’ is. Some people just see the behaviour, but not what’s behind it. Our understanding and conception of being a ‘naughty child’ varies so so much. A simple example: Parent A might consider their child ‘naughty’ if they refuse to clear their dinner plate, whilst parent B might think their little one ‘naughty’ if they steal grandma's purse and spend her money on drugs but parent C might have no parental control and doesn’t really consider anything ‘na...

Hello! For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was 21 nights. I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer. Monday - kids! I was not expecting to be looking after a little one today as there was no one in the diary but late Sunday night I was approached to go to another carer's home to look after their foster child because the carer was in hospital. That night the child had gone to a relative of the carer but this was not ideal for a number of rea...

Someone once asked me if I was worried about looking after certain kids... you know.. if it was safe to look after some kids, or if I was concerned we wouldn't get on, or even just that it might be a difficult few days. But to be honest so far I have not been worried about saying 'yes' to a child, but more worried about saying 'no'. And I do say 'no'. I say no in the sense that when I see a child on the group email (when a child needs a respite place all the respite carers are emailed out basic information and then ask for more information if they think they can help) I do not think I could look after I don't put myself forward. I've also said 'no' literally, verbally, when I've been rung and asked for a child that day, usually because I've had long standing plans I really do not want to cancel. But I do worry about saying 'no'. If I've said no, and another Bristol carer has said yes, then at least that child has st...

Hello! For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some  of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights. I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer. Monday - no kids I do not have any kids scheduled to come stay Monday night and as the course of the day goes on, I do not get asked for any. Which is good as I am quite tired (like usual). I have lots of plans for the week though including a niece visiting Tues and Weds. I was supposed to have a meeting with my social worker Tues but I a...

Hello! For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some  of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights. I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer. Monday - no kids No kids due to come on Monday which is good as I'm rather tired. I sleep in a bit after a long night at work but my slumber is shortened by social services ringing to say they may have a boy for me for later in the week but are not sure yet. They're just double checking I'm actually free. The social worker says she...

Knock, knock. The door opens and a smiling young woman says ‘hello’ and welcomes you inside. Well, at least you think she does. You don’t speak her language but the lady that picked you up earlier today and brought you here by car is gesturing that you come inside. So you do, but you’re not really sure why. You come into the front room. ‘It seems weird in here’ you think to yourself. It is nothing like the home you once knew or the places you have slept at, run from or travelled through it the past year either. There’s pets. Or least they seem to be pets. Where you come from cats are feral and rarely seen in the house. You’re hungry and thirsty but you don’t know how to tell the two ladies with you. One hands the other some paperwork as you all sit in the living room together. You wonder what this document is. Am I in trouble? Am I going to be taken away again? Don’t they believe me when I say I’m 16. After some chat that you don’t understand one of the wo...

Hello! For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. Some  of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights. I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer. Monday - no kids Today I get back from work and I've got no kids due to come stay, but you never know. I do have support group though at, for it you work nights, a very inconvenient time (midday to 2) but for everyone else, probably a really convenient time. About 15 carers were there. Some of whom I've met before. All lovely and som...

Whilst in an ideal world no child would ever need to come into care, the fact is they do. There are kids all over Britain that have been neglected or abused. Who have seen things even adults should never witness, or who live with a parent unable to look after them for health reasons. In Bristol at any one time there are around 700 children in care out of the 85,000 young people aged 16 or under in the city. When you’re a foster carer unless your social worker knows you’re unavailable, generally if you have a spare room you will be asked to take on a child. You can say no of course. Perhaps the child doesn’t fit your current situation, or they want you to look after the child longer than you know you can. There are many that you will say yes to, especially if you’re a respite or emergency carer, and, oddly, many of these children will never make it to your home and yet you wonder about them. You’ve said ‘yes’ to the question ‘can you take a child tonight?’ You’ve read their pa...

Hello! For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights. I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer. Monday - kids - in theory So late last week - last thing Friday - I got asked to take on a boy Monday to Monday. I said yes even though it meant I would have little sleep on Monday gone due to needing to sort his room out and having a general tidy up and some much needed sleep. I was all sorted, ready for him to come at the agreed time, t...

Fostering needs you. There is a crisis in fostering. There is no way to sugar coat it. More and more children are coming into care than ever before, including higher number of asylum seeking children, whilst the number of carers is steadily declining. According to the Fostering Network, in England there are around 43,500 fostering households, but about 7,000 more are needed to meet demand. Without fostering families children can end up in group homes, or for older teens – shared flat style accommodation – and even places like caravans have been used by some local authorities.   Children brought into care have already had a difficult start. They really deserve to have a new home to live in. I full realise not everyone interested in becoming a foster carer can do so, however if you have a spare room, please consider it. So what can you do to help? FOSTER There are lots of options –  including the below. Respite carer – this is where you ...