Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was 21 nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - kids!
I was not expecting to be looking after a little one today as there was no one in the diary but late Sunday night I was approached to go to another carer's home to look after their foster child because the carer was in hospital. That night the child had gone to a relative of the carer but this was not ideal for a number of reasons. Safe yes, and okay in an emergency but not ideal either.
So I agreed. But it is a Monday and I'm tired. I do not have to be at the carer's home until mid afternoon so have a few hours to myself first. I see to my ill cat and relax in the garden a bit, not knowing how many days I'll be away.
I trundle on down to the carer's home at the agreed time with my overnight stuff and find a key left for me. Hop in, find the pets, orientate myself, find the spare bedroom, kitchen and key to get into the back garden. All good. About an hour in the kid is dropped back to his home sans his carer and is chatty at first but largely spends the rest of the day in their room. They do venture out to ask what's for tea. I go for the easy option and get takeaway kebabs.
I ring Out of Hours when they start (5pm) to let them know I'm looking after the kid, not their regular carer. Normally on a Monday I would just ring my social worker but as it's a bank holiday I have to use Out of Hours.
I also ping my social worker and the carer's social worker an email too, just so everyone knows the score.
I'm exceptionally tired having slept about 5 hours in two days so I go to bed early after locking up a strange house in a strange area. The bed is strange too. I do not sleep very well as I seem to hear every tiny creak of the house and movement of the pets. Maybe this is a little bit what a kid feels like sleeping in a strange carers house? Yes, I've used the word strange a lot but it is strange!
Tuesday - kids!
I wake up super early at the carer's home and can't get back off to sleep so get up properly about 6am. I don't want to wake the kid so I potter around, playing with the dogs. It is a menagerie here and I end up feeding five pets and one kid breakfast! I can't find any food for myself mind (should have brought some!) except for crisps so I have Quavers for breakfast.
Early morning the kid goes out to play club and whilst they're out I pop back to my own home to feed my cats and catch up with a few things. I am shattered even at midday. It feels good to be back in my own home even though it was only for a few hours - I go back to the carer's house in time for the kid to get back from play club.
They're a little late which is concerning but get back a okay in the end and are really bubbly and chatty. Well, for 30mins but that's good really for a pre-teen! They then spend the evening in their bedroom apart from popping downstairs for 5 mins to ask what's for tea again.
During the course of the day there has been a few emails back and forth about when the carer might get home from hospital. When I have something concrete I update the kid so they know what to expect and are not unduly worried. The kid appears casual but I imagine are worried deep down.
The carer gets home in the evening, and once they've settled down I update them on how the kid's been, what we've been up to and how the pets are too. I don't stay toooooo long as my eyes feel like they might melt in their sockets and I just want to get home.
In the afternoon I received an email from Lilo and Stitch's social worker to update on the difficulties Lilo has been facing and their current court case. I'm gonna miss these two in the future that's for sure.
Weds - no kids!
I sleep terribly again Tues night into Weds, and so Weds I wake up feeling awful. I only manage about 3hrs sleep and my brain is not functioning. I have awfully red eyes and just feel foggy. I do get up and do things I need to do though.
A week ago I emailed my social worker a bunch of points and questions but I haven't heard back yet as they've been on holiday so I chase up. I feel a bit rude chasing up but I'm feeling unwell and uncertainty doesn't help. My social worker asks to ring Thurs which is a relief.
During the day the PR bod at social services emails as they're having problems setting up a coffee morning at a venue I'm familiar with. I email the manager and get it sorted the same day.
I don't get asked for any kids today so like an old man I have a snooze in the afternoon and paint in the evening. Quite relaxing. Well I would look more relaxed if my eyes were not literally red red red.
Thursday - no kids
I wasn't asked for any kids Wedsnesday which in one sense is surprising as I know social services are busy at present and in another way is a relief as I'm struggling to sleep this week. I am too concerned about a number of things and it's impacting my sleep for sure.
During the day I am expecting my social worker to ring me, but I ring her in the morning when I notice I have not been paid. She does not seem that concerned to be honest. Not as concerned as I am regarding my bank balance! I have a little sneaky feeling that my social worker forgot to put my pay through before their recent holiday, but I just dont know.
Early afternoon she rings to discuss a number of issues I have been having and I find this conversation deeply upsetting, but then one has to be a grown up sometimes! I have found it a little hard that decisions about personal things have been made for me, or without myself being consulted, rather than decisions being made with me. I hope this comes across.
I am available to have kids today but am not asked. If I'm not asked Friday too I plan to do some decorating in one of the kid's rooms. I can't do it with kids here, even just one in the other room, as I have to get the electric saw out to cut up flooring and it's not safe having an electric saw out with kids around. That kind of goes without saying... hehe.
I am quite upset about not being paid again and other foster carers I know agree this is ridiculous as it happens about 1/4 times. I think its because I don't look after the same kids regularly so it is not a recurring payment, so it gets forgotten sometimes. *Sigh*
Friday - no kids
In theory I could still get a kid or two for the weekend, however in the morning I do not as I didn't get any kids last night. So I set about doing my usual things.. I could get called up to about 5pm when the staff at social services hand over to the evening guys - I don't do evening cover/emergencies - only daytime.
I have lots of work to do from home including some DIY whilst no kids are here. I get my tools and equipment out and set to it. It's a good feeling to have the work done as been putting it off, but it was a bit stressful too.
During the day my social worker emails me to say there is no update on why I haven't been paid. She emails about a few other issues that need addressing but nothing super pressing. She lets me know she's not really around first half of next week which is fine and dandy as I'm not expecting any issues. Well I say that, towards the end of the day an issue does crop up, unfortunately.
I don't get asked for any kids in the end which is a bit of a surprise, but hey-ho I ring up some family members and invite them over for Sunday.
Saturday - no kids
As I didn't get asked for any kids on Friday, that means no kids at all for the rest of the week as I do not cover weekend emergencies. I use my time to do more DIY that I cannot do if kids are here, including jobs that require power tools to be used. My cats oddly don't mind and usually watch me when I'm drilling or banging away. They even watch workmen too when they're round as they're just not bothered. I redo a significant portion of one of the kids rooms and it looks miles better. I'm dead pleased with the work though I get tired before finishing up so I stop for the day as I don't want to use an electric saw whilst sleepy. I have a tiny weeney but fiddly job left to do that I leave for another day.
After my jobs I go see a friend for a cuppa and have a late dinner when I get home, but I don't feel well so I go to bed early and sleep terribly.
Bit of a weird week this one. It had been fully booked but that was cancelled as it was felt better for the child to be with another respite carer due to their behaviour. I came into the week thinking I had no one, and ended up staying over a carer's home to look after their little one for two days, but then nothing since. Next available week I know I have a boy due to come for two days but that's it so far.
More later in the week.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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