Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
I do not have any kids scheduled to come stay Monday night and as the course of the day goes on, I do not get asked for any. Which is good as I am quite tired (like usual).
I have lots of plans for the week though including a niece visiting Tues and Weds.
I was supposed to have a meeting with my social worker Tues but I ask for it to be today instead so I can spend more time with my niece on Tues.
Meeting is acutely stressful but I am glad to get it over and done with.
We talk about a number of things including my registration.
I have a nice surprise when a lady who writes a well known blog on fostering asks me to contribute something on looking after asylum seekers. I say I'll have a think about it.
I have Lilo and Stitch coming at the weekend so I start thinking of things we would like to do together.
I struggle a bit in the evening and sleep terribly.
Tuesday - no kids
I dont have any kids due to come today because instead a young family member is visiting during the holidays. I havent seen them in eight months and they haven't been to mine in over a year. I've basically marked myself as unavailable with social services which you can do if you're a respite carer by just popping them an email.
I have a really good time with the munchkin and we sit down watching bad X Factor auditions and several movies with a pizza.
Wednesday - no kids
I still have my family member over and so am still marked as unavailable with social services. We had a fun silly day and I take them home in the evening.
Lilo and Stitch's carer gets in touch about the weekend. As in what time will they be collected/dropped off, and what clothes do they need with them. All is well.
I also book myself on to two training courses for November. If you're a foster carer for Bristol there are 10 courses you are expected to do in your first year, four of which you need to refresh yourself on every three years. There are also an additional 10 or so courses that are more specialised for carers of 1+ years experience, such as dealing with behaviour problems, children who go missing and/or get arrested and protecting children from sexual exploitation.
Thursday - kids!
In the morning I have a social services admin over to do some paperwork with me - my annual review. We do an updated health and safety form, my pet questionnaires and a safer caring plan. It takes a while to go over the H&S form but then its based on my old one and a lot of changes have been made to the house since then. All the paperwork takes about an hour though and the admin lady is lovely.
After bedtime I sit downstairs and draw. Something of a rarity really.
Friday - kids, lots of kids!
We're cutting it fine today. A child is going in the morning at 845 and I need to pick Lilo and Stitch up at 1000, meaning I get less than an hour inbetween due to travel time. In this time I change the bedding in the room Dave used which is the one Lilo has and send my social worker an email saying the trial with Dave went well and asking how we go about making it a regular respite.
My social worker to my surprise also emails in to ask about furniture replacements as she knows some furniture has been broken by the kids and needs updating. She agrees to my proposed budget, well her manager does, much to my surprise again. I've been asking for about six weeks.
Lilo and Stitch are their usual over excited self. Fun, chatty, non-stop, but super lovely. We play Lego and then Lego xbox Batman 2 for quite some time. We also have a treat of fish and chips. This is the first time they stay over in three months and it feels fab. They get to bed dead on time and are really fun, and actually listen to instructions.
Saturday - kids!
So Lilo and Stitch are staying all weekend with me. This is their 10th weekend stay and so they know the drill. We always, always, go out on a Saturday. Today I had planned to take them out to meet up with another carer friend and their kids. We duly trundle on down mid afternoon but there is a problem. Lilo refuses to come in. They've never done this before and it is really out of character. I'm slightly at a loss as to what to do, but I can't leave them on their own due to their age, so we sit outside the venue waiting for my friend to arrive. When she arrives Lilo is still in a state though fluctuates a little bit between 'very moody' and 'mildly moody' but essentially spends about 4hrs saying 'no' and that 'things aren't fair' in various terms. Lilo is struggling for sure. It is only when I mention it to their main carer that I understand why. I wish I'd been given a heads up!
Late afternoon Lilo and Stitch go to my carer friend's home with me but Lilo reacts badly to this and ends up sitting on the floor. They do perk up when I offer to play with just them for a bit, but as the afternoon goes on starts fighting with Stitch, who counter to their usual behaviour, is being super good today. They're like a seesaw these two.
We leave the time I plan even though Lilo has been asking to leave for ages. Lilo even went to the front door twice and tried to open the catch. Lilo has struggled but also needs to know that just because they're having a bad day doesn't mean they get to dictate what we all do, as mean as that sounds.
As soon as we leave - when we wait for the bus, Lilo goes back to their usual behaviour. You wouldn't even know the last 4hrs had happened. When we get home its quite late for them - 30mins til bedtime, so after a story they end up going to bed a little late, so I tell them we need to sleep in in the morning. Once I know they're asleep I ring their main carer to talk over the issues from today.
Today was partly about meeting up with my carer friend and meeting their two foster kids too. Both met, though in the context of me looking after Lilo and Stitch, so I didn't get to chat to them properly.
Sunday - kids!
I still have Lilo and Stitch until after tea time. During the day we mainly play Lego and Lego video games and this gives me some time for cleaning and getting on with household chores. Yes chores - but they need to be done. I also pot up some plants in the garden and do some odd jobs around the house - checking on the kids regularly, but they're enthralled by the game I got them, popping out to find me every 10 minutes or so to update me on how they're doing.
They think they're acing it, but when I look at the save page I see they're only 4% through the storyline of the game!
I return them to their carer dead on time, and there we have it, respite over.
Well except it's not as I need to email my social worker and the kids' social worker an update as soon as I can. First, curry. I pop to a friend's for a takeaway. The company is good and the food yummy but I am struggling to concentrate. It feels like my head is full of cotton wool. I leave at 10pm and ring my mum on the 30 minute walk home to check in about a number of things. She's up as she's always up late. When I get in I type out my email regarding Lilo and Stitch and send it on out. I'm shattered. By time I'm done, and finish tidying the house after the little hurricanes it's almost midnight.
Still I love the sausages to bits so I don't mind the late night at all.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
I do not have any kids scheduled to come stay Monday night and as the course of the day goes on, I do not get asked for any. Which is good as I am quite tired (like usual).
I have lots of plans for the week though including a niece visiting Tues and Weds.
I was supposed to have a meeting with my social worker Tues but I ask for it to be today instead so I can spend more time with my niece on Tues.
Meeting is acutely stressful but I am glad to get it over and done with.
We talk about a number of things including my registration.
I have a nice surprise when a lady who writes a well known blog on fostering asks me to contribute something on looking after asylum seekers. I say I'll have a think about it.
I have Lilo and Stitch coming at the weekend so I start thinking of things we would like to do together.
I struggle a bit in the evening and sleep terribly.
Tuesday - no kids
I dont have any kids due to come today because instead a young family member is visiting during the holidays. I havent seen them in eight months and they haven't been to mine in over a year. I've basically marked myself as unavailable with social services which you can do if you're a respite carer by just popping them an email.
I have a really good time with the munchkin and we sit down watching bad X Factor auditions and several movies with a pizza.
Wednesday - no kids
I still have my family member over and so am still marked as unavailable with social services. We had a fun silly day and I take them home in the evening.
Lilo and Stitch's carer gets in touch about the weekend. As in what time will they be collected/dropped off, and what clothes do they need with them. All is well.
I also book myself on to two training courses for November. If you're a foster carer for Bristol there are 10 courses you are expected to do in your first year, four of which you need to refresh yourself on every three years. There are also an additional 10 or so courses that are more specialised for carers of 1+ years experience, such as dealing with behaviour problems, children who go missing and/or get arrested and protecting children from sexual exploitation.
Thursday - kids!
In the morning I have a social services admin over to do some paperwork with me - my annual review. We do an updated health and safety form, my pet questionnaires and a safer caring plan. It takes a while to go over the H&S form but then its based on my old one and a lot of changes have been made to the house since then. All the paperwork takes about an hour though and the admin lady is lovely.
After bedtime I sit downstairs and draw. Something of a rarity really.
Friday - kids, lots of kids!
We're cutting it fine today. A child is going in the morning at 845 and I need to pick Lilo and Stitch up at 1000, meaning I get less than an hour inbetween due to travel time. In this time I change the bedding in the room Dave used which is the one Lilo has and send my social worker an email saying the trial with Dave went well and asking how we go about making it a regular respite.
My social worker to my surprise also emails in to ask about furniture replacements as she knows some furniture has been broken by the kids and needs updating. She agrees to my proposed budget, well her manager does, much to my surprise again. I've been asking for about six weeks.
Lilo and Stitch are their usual over excited self. Fun, chatty, non-stop, but super lovely. We play Lego and then Lego xbox Batman 2 for quite some time. We also have a treat of fish and chips. This is the first time they stay over in three months and it feels fab. They get to bed dead on time and are really fun, and actually listen to instructions.
Saturday - kids!
So Lilo and Stitch are staying all weekend with me. This is their 10th weekend stay and so they know the drill. We always, always, go out on a Saturday. Today I had planned to take them out to meet up with another carer friend and their kids. We duly trundle on down mid afternoon but there is a problem. Lilo refuses to come in. They've never done this before and it is really out of character. I'm slightly at a loss as to what to do, but I can't leave them on their own due to their age, so we sit outside the venue waiting for my friend to arrive. When she arrives Lilo is still in a state though fluctuates a little bit between 'very moody' and 'mildly moody' but essentially spends about 4hrs saying 'no' and that 'things aren't fair' in various terms. Lilo is struggling for sure. It is only when I mention it to their main carer that I understand why. I wish I'd been given a heads up!
Late afternoon Lilo and Stitch go to my carer friend's home with me but Lilo reacts badly to this and ends up sitting on the floor. They do perk up when I offer to play with just them for a bit, but as the afternoon goes on starts fighting with Stitch, who counter to their usual behaviour, is being super good today. They're like a seesaw these two.
We leave the time I plan even though Lilo has been asking to leave for ages. Lilo even went to the front door twice and tried to open the catch. Lilo has struggled but also needs to know that just because they're having a bad day doesn't mean they get to dictate what we all do, as mean as that sounds.
As soon as we leave - when we wait for the bus, Lilo goes back to their usual behaviour. You wouldn't even know the last 4hrs had happened. When we get home its quite late for them - 30mins til bedtime, so after a story they end up going to bed a little late, so I tell them we need to sleep in in the morning. Once I know they're asleep I ring their main carer to talk over the issues from today.
Today was partly about meeting up with my carer friend and meeting their two foster kids too. Both met, though in the context of me looking after Lilo and Stitch, so I didn't get to chat to them properly.
Sunday - kids!
I still have Lilo and Stitch until after tea time. During the day we mainly play Lego and Lego video games and this gives me some time for cleaning and getting on with household chores. Yes chores - but they need to be done. I also pot up some plants in the garden and do some odd jobs around the house - checking on the kids regularly, but they're enthralled by the game I got them, popping out to find me every 10 minutes or so to update me on how they're doing.
They think they're acing it, but when I look at the save page I see they're only 4% through the storyline of the game!
I return them to their carer dead on time, and there we have it, respite over.
Well except it's not as I need to email my social worker and the kids' social worker an update as soon as I can. First, curry. I pop to a friend's for a takeaway. The company is good and the food yummy but I am struggling to concentrate. It feels like my head is full of cotton wool. I leave at 10pm and ring my mum on the 30 minute walk home to check in about a number of things. She's up as she's always up late. When I get in I type out my email regarding Lilo and Stitch and send it on out. I'm shattered. By time I'm done, and finish tidying the house after the little hurricanes it's almost midnight.
Still I love the sausages to bits so I don't mind the late night at all.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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