Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. I also work two jobs, have a lot of cats and a wild garden.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
So this week I am 'on call' Mon to Thurs for emergencies and have two children booked to stay with me Fri tea time to Sun tea time.
I get home from my nightshift job Monday morning rather tired but struggle to sleep. I have quite a lot to do this week including some DIY.
I've been working towards my levels, - this is where you go up a grade and get paid a little bit extra for your fostering. I'm Level 1. If I go to Level 2 I get an extra £7 per day per child. I doesnt sound a lot but it all adds up. The levels are set out by the government - not locally. It is standardised - its a work book of around 40 questions to answer, and each answer needs 1-3 real life examples.
Eg 'How have you promoted diversity and acceptance with your foster children?'
I get a bit of this done on Monday but there is still lots left to do.
Tuesday - no kids
Wasnt asked for any kids on Monday, so Tues I'm free to catch up on cleaning etc. I do lots of work in the garden. I've recently built a seating area in the garden for me and the foster kids to sit out on. I add planting around that - rows of cherries and redcurrent canes.
I have a social worker coming Weds for me to sign some paperwork. She looks after two of the children I regularly take care of, so I make sure I'm ready for her visit.
I email my social worker about a whole bunch of things - I regularly update her on my availability so that social services dont ask me to look after children when I know I'll be away. Saves both of us hassle. I also ask for a new ID card after changing my name - foster carers have ID cards which you need to present when collecting children from school or taking them to appointments. You also need it to get foster carer discounts at various venues around Bristol.
Wednesday - no kids
I dont have any kids again and so I go out to visit a friend and two of their children for lunch at theirs. I have a fab relaxing fun time but need to ensure I'm back in time for the social worker who is visiting later. I get home and realise my house is in a state and so I have a quick clean! Hehe.
My social worker answers my email and covers off all points. New ID card is on its way and the other things are sorted too. I also contact Lilo and Stitch's carer to sort collecting drop off times for the weekend.
Lilo and Stitch's social worker comes over with some paperwork I need to sign and a general update on their situation. It seems there is a 50-50 of them going back home home. If they go home I fear they'll end up back in care in the future. If they return they also do not need respite care. If they stay in care their main carer will change from a short term carer to a long term carer and again they wont need respite, so either way, when the court case goes through, I know I'll know longer be looking after them. I will really miss them. Everything could be settled as soon as six weeks' time, or as long as six months' time. Who knows. But I know I will miss them dearly.
Also their social worker mentions they have contact on Saturday, when I have them. I agree to this and another carer will collect them and pick them up, so all good.
Thursday - no kids
My social worker catches up with me following my meeting Thurs with Lilo & Stitch's social worker. All good. As I know they'll be leaving my care soonish I start plans to make them photo journals to keep.
With no kids I do some more DIY in the garden.
Friday - kids!
So I have Lilo and Stitch over from tonight for their seventh stay with me. I go to the shops to pick up foods I know they like and give the house a thorough clean. I make sure the garden is tidy and greenhouse fence locked - if you look after young children greenhouses must be behind a fence as they're considered a hazard.
Kids arrive dead on time and I get their dinner sorted - nothing fancy - pizza and chips plus yoghurt and fruit. They pick out Peppa Pig for bedtime reading and are in bed on time. I know in the morning they'll be going to see mum but I havent mentioned it yet in case it doesnt happen. They do get suspicious when they ask what we are doing Saturday and I dont have a solid answer however. Still they're in bed and I get the evening to myself.
Saturday - kids!
So Lilo and Stitch are here for the weekend. They were supposed to have contact today with Mum and Aunty but Mum cancelled at the last minute. Literally. Kids were in their coats and shoes ready to get picked up when the phone rang. They instantly knew their trip was cancelled. Mum wanted to see them Sunday instead. Initially I said yes, but then backtracked as contact was agreed for Saturday and I had plans for Sunday.
After contact was cancelled Lilo and Stitch's moods changed dramatically so I let them settle a bit. As it was close to lunch time I took us all out for pizzas and then to M Shed. They both love buses so the bus ride there and the giant vintage bus inside appeal to them.
For the rest of the day though it was trying, but I understand it. They thought they were seeing family and didnt.
Lilo has also started a new behaviour of when I say no to them, walking off and not moving. - So I continue to walk with Stitch and 'leave behind' Lilo. Of course I'm not actually and she catches up very quickly. But its for attention... so if I were to try to persuade her to come with us, she's getting that attention.. so I keep on walking til she catches up. I do make sure I can see her mind.
Lilo in frustration has smashed up the chalks in her bedroom, but as I try to use 'natural consequences' I tell her her room is dirty now and needs cleaning up before bed otherwise everything will get chalky. Indeed her white hoodie goes orange with chalk dust, but this is her doing after smashing up the chalks.
Lilo also makes up a song about killing me. I'm not joking. I talk to her about how her words can be hurtful.
Sunday - kids
Lilo and Stitch are here til 4pm when I need to take them back to their main carers on the bus. In the morning we play round the house and then a good friend comes over at lunch time with their son of a similar age. Whilst the kids play myself and my friend chat. We all have lunch outside on my new seating area and then play in the park together. My friend's son, who is known to be 'quite hectic' gets worn out by my two easily. :)
After my friend and her son go, Lilo and Stitch ask when they'll be coming round again. In reality they may never see each other again as Lilo and Stitch's respite with me is up in the air... but I hope we get to all play together at least one more time.
I take Lilo and Stitch to visit a neighbour briefly. My neighbour has ferrets and tries to get the kids to stroke them. They've never seen ferrets before and don't know quite what to make of them.
After I take them back to their main carer I go see a carer friend of mine who lives nearby and we have a short but sweet catch up.
When I get in, I do the paperwork needs for Lilo and Stitch and miss them already.
Week over.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. I also work two jobs, have a lot of cats and a wild garden.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
So this week I am 'on call' Mon to Thurs for emergencies and have two children booked to stay with me Fri tea time to Sun tea time.
I get home from my nightshift job Monday morning rather tired but struggle to sleep. I have quite a lot to do this week including some DIY.
I've been working towards my levels, - this is where you go up a grade and get paid a little bit extra for your fostering. I'm Level 1. If I go to Level 2 I get an extra £7 per day per child. I doesnt sound a lot but it all adds up. The levels are set out by the government - not locally. It is standardised - its a work book of around 40 questions to answer, and each answer needs 1-3 real life examples.
Eg 'How have you promoted diversity and acceptance with your foster children?'
I get a bit of this done on Monday but there is still lots left to do.
Tuesday - no kids
Wasnt asked for any kids on Monday, so Tues I'm free to catch up on cleaning etc. I do lots of work in the garden. I've recently built a seating area in the garden for me and the foster kids to sit out on. I add planting around that - rows of cherries and redcurrent canes.
I have a social worker coming Weds for me to sign some paperwork. She looks after two of the children I regularly take care of, so I make sure I'm ready for her visit.
I email my social worker about a whole bunch of things - I regularly update her on my availability so that social services dont ask me to look after children when I know I'll be away. Saves both of us hassle. I also ask for a new ID card after changing my name - foster carers have ID cards which you need to present when collecting children from school or taking them to appointments. You also need it to get foster carer discounts at various venues around Bristol.
Wednesday - no kids
I dont have any kids again and so I go out to visit a friend and two of their children for lunch at theirs. I have a fab relaxing fun time but need to ensure I'm back in time for the social worker who is visiting later. I get home and realise my house is in a state and so I have a quick clean! Hehe.
My social worker answers my email and covers off all points. New ID card is on its way and the other things are sorted too. I also contact Lilo and Stitch's carer to sort collecting drop off times for the weekend.
Lilo and Stitch's social worker comes over with some paperwork I need to sign and a general update on their situation. It seems there is a 50-50 of them going back home home. If they go home I fear they'll end up back in care in the future. If they return they also do not need respite care. If they stay in care their main carer will change from a short term carer to a long term carer and again they wont need respite, so either way, when the court case goes through, I know I'll know longer be looking after them. I will really miss them. Everything could be settled as soon as six weeks' time, or as long as six months' time. Who knows. But I know I will miss them dearly.
Also their social worker mentions they have contact on Saturday, when I have them. I agree to this and another carer will collect them and pick them up, so all good.
Thursday - no kids
My social worker catches up with me following my meeting Thurs with Lilo & Stitch's social worker. All good. As I know they'll be leaving my care soonish I start plans to make them photo journals to keep.
With no kids I do some more DIY in the garden.
Friday - kids!
So I have Lilo and Stitch over from tonight for their seventh stay with me. I go to the shops to pick up foods I know they like and give the house a thorough clean. I make sure the garden is tidy and greenhouse fence locked - if you look after young children greenhouses must be behind a fence as they're considered a hazard.
Kids arrive dead on time and I get their dinner sorted - nothing fancy - pizza and chips plus yoghurt and fruit. They pick out Peppa Pig for bedtime reading and are in bed on time. I know in the morning they'll be going to see mum but I havent mentioned it yet in case it doesnt happen. They do get suspicious when they ask what we are doing Saturday and I dont have a solid answer however. Still they're in bed and I get the evening to myself.
Saturday - kids!
So Lilo and Stitch are here for the weekend. They were supposed to have contact today with Mum and Aunty but Mum cancelled at the last minute. Literally. Kids were in their coats and shoes ready to get picked up when the phone rang. They instantly knew their trip was cancelled. Mum wanted to see them Sunday instead. Initially I said yes, but then backtracked as contact was agreed for Saturday and I had plans for Sunday.
After contact was cancelled Lilo and Stitch's moods changed dramatically so I let them settle a bit. As it was close to lunch time I took us all out for pizzas and then to M Shed. They both love buses so the bus ride there and the giant vintage bus inside appeal to them.
For the rest of the day though it was trying, but I understand it. They thought they were seeing family and didnt.
Lilo has also started a new behaviour of when I say no to them, walking off and not moving. - So I continue to walk with Stitch and 'leave behind' Lilo. Of course I'm not actually and she catches up very quickly. But its for attention... so if I were to try to persuade her to come with us, she's getting that attention.. so I keep on walking til she catches up. I do make sure I can see her mind.
Lilo in frustration has smashed up the chalks in her bedroom, but as I try to use 'natural consequences' I tell her her room is dirty now and needs cleaning up before bed otherwise everything will get chalky. Indeed her white hoodie goes orange with chalk dust, but this is her doing after smashing up the chalks.
Lilo also makes up a song about killing me. I'm not joking. I talk to her about how her words can be hurtful.
Sunday - kids
Lilo and Stitch are here til 4pm when I need to take them back to their main carers on the bus. In the morning we play round the house and then a good friend comes over at lunch time with their son of a similar age. Whilst the kids play myself and my friend chat. We all have lunch outside on my new seating area and then play in the park together. My friend's son, who is known to be 'quite hectic' gets worn out by my two easily. :)
After my friend and her son go, Lilo and Stitch ask when they'll be coming round again. In reality they may never see each other again as Lilo and Stitch's respite with me is up in the air... but I hope we get to all play together at least one more time.
I take Lilo and Stitch to visit a neighbour briefly. My neighbour has ferrets and tries to get the kids to stroke them. They've never seen ferrets before and don't know quite what to make of them.
After I take them back to their main carer I go see a carer friend of mine who lives nearby and we have a short but sweet catch up.
When I get in, I do the paperwork needs for Lilo and Stitch and miss them already.
Week over.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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