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What is it like being a LGBT carer?

Foster care reflects our society both in terms of the kids that are looked after and the carers themselves.

However in Bristol only around 2% of carers are LGBT, which to me does not feel enough.

As far as I'm aware there is also only one trans carer too.

I also don't know how many foster children in Bristol identify as LGBT but there definitely are some. As well you might expect. After all there are around 700 children in care in Bristol spread over around 450 carers.

I would feel that whomever looks after those children would do their utmost to accept, encourage and love them for exactly who they are.

From experience I would say that foster children really do not care if their carer is LGBT. What they care about is what's for dinner and how much pocket money they're getting that week.

However I feel that LGBT kids in care would benefit from there being more LGBT carers. Whether full time carers or respite carers. In addition I reckon non-LGBT kids would also benefit from being looked after more LGBT carers.

Why do I think this?

Well I did say above that foster kids really don't care about the sexuality or gender identity of their carer, but I would add to this, that sometimes there is a little 'hostility' or 'uncertainty' at first. I think kids are very accepting, but that adults around them can help shape their views. I've known kids who have come from households with racist, xenophobic and homophobic parents and have adopted their parents' views. However once its explained why those views are hurtful they tend to melt away pretty fast.

I've had children say things like fag, bender, queer, bumboy and worse at me. After talking with them, they've changed pretty much instantly.

I've had another child say they 'don't agree with' trans people even existing, and that 'it's not right'. Whilst you cant  'edit' someone else's views, his carer is trying to make him see that trans people are just people.

Foster care unfortunately can be quite insular sometimes with carers hanging out with other carers - mainly because we understand each others woes, but also because we tend to be quite similar people in some regards - but my view is the more LGBT carers there are the more foster care would reflect society, and benefit children who are LGBT or children who have internalised anti-LGBT views.

I do wonder why more LGBT people don't step forward and help look after Bristol's children.

I had thought that maybe people were worried their application wouldn't be supported, but it would be treated like any others. I then thought maybe a LGBT person would be worried about telling their social worker if they've experienced a homophobic or transphobic incident with any of their children - well I can tell you I've reported those I've experienced and been fully supported.

My next thought is maybe LGBT potential carers are worried about how other carers will treat them. I've never encountered a single problem. Whether down the pub or at support group. Carers get each other and know that the main thing is your ability to look after kids and care, not whom you snuggle up to at night in bed.

In many senses being a LGBT carer is, well, like just being a regular carer, because you are. However one plus point is the empathy, love and support you can give to LGBT youth in care and how you can show other children that LGBT people are just people. Whether your their carer or your kids are friends with them, just you being you, and living freely and honestly, is a fab thing.

Sorry, not getting my point over well.

What I'd love to see is more LGBT people step up and look after our city's children. You'll help children flourish, and any worries you have about potential issues will be proved false. Simply put Bristol needs you.

All the best, BF

NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK

We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form

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