Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. I also work two jobs, have a lot of cats and a wild garden.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - kids
So I was supposed to be having Drederick* stay but that was cancelled about five days ago. One of my foster care friends has been having a tough time and knowing I had a cancellation asked if I'd take their teen for them for the week. You can't just pass kids round - everything has to go through social workers. So first thing Monday I asked my social worker, and my friend asked theirs. And the child's own social worker was contacted. It was agreed my friend could have respite and I would look after the child.
But this is no random child, this is a child who uses drugs, is at risk of child sexual exploitation and runs away a lot. I know this already but am given more info and the offer of help if I need it. In the end I dont, because unfortunately as soon as the child's social worker said she was going to respite she legged it. Straight out the door at her carer's home. Soooooooooo we have a missing child, missing between placements. My friend phones the police to report her missing and I ring out of hours to confirm child is missing from placement - technically she's in my care right now even though she hasnt made it to my home. I have her phone number and text her my address and how to get here, should she wish to return to me. A plan is put in place for her to be brought to me day or night when the police find her.
Except they don't, on Monday at least. I ring out of hours before bedtime to let them know she is still not here. I have her room ready and brought us pizzas, but there is no child.
My foster carer friend who needed the break is quite worried her kid has run off but she is also exhausted, which is why she needed the break in the first place.
During the day I was asked to take another child for one night only but in the end my social worker overruled my 'yes' because she felt it would be too hard with Lisa*. So I've gone from one kid to maybe two, to none, really. I go to bed with just me in the house.
Tuesday - kids - technically
Lisa is in my care until Sunday but is still a missing person. The police visit her main carer as is standard. Lisa has made no contact with police, me, main carer or her social worker. Her phone is switched off too.
As it happens I have supervision (this is where your social worker pops over to be nosey; no I mean give you an appraisal of the last three months). So we discuss the children I've had in the last three months and how I think the placements have gone. I have some big things I need to ask about - the most important one is I'm thinking of changing my first name and I want to check with my social worker the process for this. We also discuss a few issues and perhaps changing the type of care I do.
In the evening I have to ring out of hours to confirm Lisa is still absent from my care. I ring again just before I go to bed and leave a note on the door in case she comes during the night. She doesnt.
Wednesday - kids - kinda
So Lisa is still in my care however she is also still missing. I've been texting her and ringing but nothing. I know the police are out looking but you feel useless.
I go visit a lovely friend of mine though have my phone on loud in case the police phone me whilst I'm out. I had a good catch up with my friend, but it is still worrying that Lisa is missing.
In the evening I ring into social services to report that she is still absent from my care.
Later on I hear that Lisa has made contact with her mum which is a good thing, though I wish she would come back to me or her main carer.
Before I go to bed I ring out of hours to confirm again she is not with me.
Thursday - kids - kinda still
So we're at nearly three whole days of the kid in my care being missing which is very worrying. I ring my social worker to talk things through. The child's main carer has been cleaning her room in her absense and found some worrying things such that she called the police who visited.
During the day my mum and stepdad come to visit which is a welcome distraction. We have a good catchup but I'm still worried about Lisa.
I find out in the evening that my mising child has been found. Police have met with her but she is refusing to come back to placement so its agreed she can stay where she is for a few more days. She will be safe there, and it means main carer still gets a break. Also means I have two vacancies.
Friday - no kids
First thing I ring the duty social worker and confirm that Lisa is found and but she will not be returning to me. This should have been confirmed by main carer anyway but I need to confirm too. Im quite sad that Lisa felt the need to run off but hopefully whatever caused her to will be resolved.
When speaking to duty I remind them I now have two vacancies for the rest of the week, however I do not get asked to take any children... which means a weekend to myself. Woo! So Friday I start a DIY project I've been meaning to do and need a few days to do a bit each day..
The carer for my regular respite kids emails me asking what dates I'm free over the summer hols so we book some in.
Saturday - no kids
I have the weekend to myself. First time since October so I get doing my DIY. Its kinda fun to have time to myself but also I am a bit lost without some kids to look after. Still I know Lilo and Stitch are coming again soon, so I have that to look forward to.
I've been struggling a bit with some heavy issues this week and talk them over with a friend. I'm still a bit lost but I'm sure all will come clear soon enough.
Sunday - no kids
I still have no kids placed with me and so I use Sunday to refresh actually. I've been so busy of late I've hardly had time to myself. A friend comes over for a cuppa as I feel fairly sad in he morning, but I pick myself up and get on with things.
I have some fostering paperwork to do, left over from Lisa, but it doesnt take long.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies. I also work two jobs, have a lot of cats and a wild garden.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - kids
So I was supposed to be having Drederick* stay but that was cancelled about five days ago. One of my foster care friends has been having a tough time and knowing I had a cancellation asked if I'd take their teen for them for the week. You can't just pass kids round - everything has to go through social workers. So first thing Monday I asked my social worker, and my friend asked theirs. And the child's own social worker was contacted. It was agreed my friend could have respite and I would look after the child.
But this is no random child, this is a child who uses drugs, is at risk of child sexual exploitation and runs away a lot. I know this already but am given more info and the offer of help if I need it. In the end I dont, because unfortunately as soon as the child's social worker said she was going to respite she legged it. Straight out the door at her carer's home. Soooooooooo we have a missing child, missing between placements. My friend phones the police to report her missing and I ring out of hours to confirm child is missing from placement - technically she's in my care right now even though she hasnt made it to my home. I have her phone number and text her my address and how to get here, should she wish to return to me. A plan is put in place for her to be brought to me day or night when the police find her.
Except they don't, on Monday at least. I ring out of hours before bedtime to let them know she is still not here. I have her room ready and brought us pizzas, but there is no child.
My foster carer friend who needed the break is quite worried her kid has run off but she is also exhausted, which is why she needed the break in the first place.
During the day I was asked to take another child for one night only but in the end my social worker overruled my 'yes' because she felt it would be too hard with Lisa*. So I've gone from one kid to maybe two, to none, really. I go to bed with just me in the house.
Tuesday - kids - technically
Lisa is in my care until Sunday but is still a missing person. The police visit her main carer as is standard. Lisa has made no contact with police, me, main carer or her social worker. Her phone is switched off too.
As it happens I have supervision (this is where your social worker pops over to be nosey; no I mean give you an appraisal of the last three months). So we discuss the children I've had in the last three months and how I think the placements have gone. I have some big things I need to ask about - the most important one is I'm thinking of changing my first name and I want to check with my social worker the process for this. We also discuss a few issues and perhaps changing the type of care I do.
In the evening I have to ring out of hours to confirm Lisa is still absent from my care. I ring again just before I go to bed and leave a note on the door in case she comes during the night. She doesnt.
Wednesday - kids - kinda
So Lisa is still in my care however she is also still missing. I've been texting her and ringing but nothing. I know the police are out looking but you feel useless.
I go visit a lovely friend of mine though have my phone on loud in case the police phone me whilst I'm out. I had a good catch up with my friend, but it is still worrying that Lisa is missing.
In the evening I ring into social services to report that she is still absent from my care.
Later on I hear that Lisa has made contact with her mum which is a good thing, though I wish she would come back to me or her main carer.
Before I go to bed I ring out of hours to confirm again she is not with me.
Thursday - kids - kinda still
So we're at nearly three whole days of the kid in my care being missing which is very worrying. I ring my social worker to talk things through. The child's main carer has been cleaning her room in her absense and found some worrying things such that she called the police who visited.
During the day my mum and stepdad come to visit which is a welcome distraction. We have a good catchup but I'm still worried about Lisa.
I find out in the evening that my mising child has been found. Police have met with her but she is refusing to come back to placement so its agreed she can stay where she is for a few more days. She will be safe there, and it means main carer still gets a break. Also means I have two vacancies.
Friday - no kids
First thing I ring the duty social worker and confirm that Lisa is found and but she will not be returning to me. This should have been confirmed by main carer anyway but I need to confirm too. Im quite sad that Lisa felt the need to run off but hopefully whatever caused her to will be resolved.
When speaking to duty I remind them I now have two vacancies for the rest of the week, however I do not get asked to take any children... which means a weekend to myself. Woo! So Friday I start a DIY project I've been meaning to do and need a few days to do a bit each day..
The carer for my regular respite kids emails me asking what dates I'm free over the summer hols so we book some in.
Saturday - no kids
I have the weekend to myself. First time since October so I get doing my DIY. Its kinda fun to have time to myself but also I am a bit lost without some kids to look after. Still I know Lilo and Stitch are coming again soon, so I have that to look forward to.
I've been struggling a bit with some heavy issues this week and talk them over with a friend. I'm still a bit lost but I'm sure all will come clear soon enough.
Sunday - no kids
I still have no kids placed with me and so I use Sunday to refresh actually. I've been so busy of late I've hardly had time to myself. A friend comes over for a cuppa as I feel fairly sad in he morning, but I pick myself up and get on with things.
I have some fostering paperwork to do, left over from Lisa, but it doesnt take long.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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