Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
Today I get back from work and I've got no kids due to come stay, but you never know.
I do have support group though at, for it you work nights, a very inconvenient time (midday to 2) but for everyone else, probably a really convenient time. About 15 carers were there. Some of whom I've met before. All lovely and some very funny. Also a new carer I know attended to, which is good. Best bit is obviously the free lunch though I didn't pounce on the quiche quickly enough as it evaporated like free prosecco on a hen night.
Support group was good though and definately worth going. Even though I didnt have any issues to talk about it is good to meet up with other carers as you can share what you're going through and what they're going through. This group has a formal chat in a circle and then a bit of milling around.
When I get home I've been awake 22hrs or so though and am shattered.
Tues - kids - surprise kids - good surprise kids in fact
So today I have supervision - this is where your social worker pops in to check how things are going for you, and where you are with any targets you might have. Also you might discuss training and things that could be changing up ahead or things to come.
Before we get into the meat my social worker asked if I'd take two children for a few hours today. As in, this afternoon. But it's already the afternoon, so she really does mean quite soon. I know the children so I say yes. They have contact so don't need picking up til 430ish.
Before then I have my meeting with my social worker where we talk about training I'd done, my registration renewal, moving up to level 2 and the children I've looked after since April. For some reason I think it's six different children, but its five it turns out. I raise some issues with some training I done in May - that I thought part of the course was insensitive, especially given that a good wedge of carers come into foster care from the perspective of having nearly been in care themselves.
After my social worker goes I have about an hour before I need to go collect Lilo and Stitch from their new carers, who happens to live very close to me. I'm a bit early so I talk to their carer and its good to finally meet in person. The carer suggests I open the door when they return from contact as a joke. The kids were definately confused! And quite amazed. We get them to get changed out of their school uniform ASAP so I can take them back to mine for a few hours.
It's really good to see the sausages. We play Lego mainly. They don't want anything to eat, so its a easy few hours. I take them back to their carers and we talk about the arrangements for collecting them from school on Weds as I'll be having them then too.
Weds - kids - the many kids
I know I have Lilo and Stitch to collect from school later on today so I get on with working from home in the meantime. All goes well and I pick Stitch up first as Lilo has an after school club. Except - whilst I'm waiting to get let into the school which is like Fort Knox - Placement ring. I know this is only because they want me to take a child tonight. I have to be rude though and tell them I'm collecting a child right now so they need to ring me back.
Twenty minutes later they duly do and ask if I'm take a 16yo Afghani boy, a Pashtun again. I'm asked to have him until Monday and agree to this. There is no information on him however. Not even a name. I tell Placement I cant have him til 1830 earliest however as I've got Lilo and Stitch until 1800 and have to take them home.
It's all agreed and Stitch and I go to collect Lilo from play club, come home to mine and go get our tea. Fish and chips and veggie burger. It all goes down a treat though is a little rushed as I have to make sure we leave dead on time so I can get back on time.
Sure enough about 5 mins after I get in a social worker turns up with Ned. Ned from first glimpse looks sad and low. He mumbles and stumbles into the house. I say hello to him in Pashto and offer him a tea or coffee. He wants a Pepsi. The social worker gets the interpreter up and explains what he's doing in my home. It turns out he's run off from another carer over 100 miles away and will be returned there in the morning.
Ned is very quiet. I tell him I'll order him some halal chicken and rice. I show him his room and after the social worker leaves I put on the cricket on my tablet. He likes this at first. By early evening I've found him asleep on my sofa so I wake him up and pop him into bed. He's a young one to be left alone in the world for sure.
Thurs - kids
Ned is still with me in the morning at least. When he gets up I give him some rice and chicken (I bought two portions the night before) and he eats a tiny bit. Via the interpreter I tell him that a social worker from quite far away will be coming to get him by mid morning. He goes back to sleep. I've no idea what's going through his head for him but he does look sad.
By 1030 the social worker arrives and introduces herself. She meets Ned and gets the interpreter up and explains why he's being brought back to his original carer explaining its safer for him in the long run. He says he's really sad as he's lost his brother (as in separated) on the way to England. The social worker tries to reassure him saying that if his brother enters the UK immigration will ensure details are passed on so they can be matched together.
I talk to the social worker alone for a bit, updating her on the information I have. She's a happy chatty social worker, but in all stays 15mins, keen to get the 3hrs car journey back to her area over and done with.
After Ned leaves my parents come over for a short visit. We go get fish and chips and have a good catch up. Mid afternoon however I get a phonecall from Placement asking me if I can take a girl tonight until Monday. I say I need more information and the referral is sent over. I read it and agree although I know this child will be difficult. I say the girl cant come before 1700 however as my parents are visiting and I don't want to rush it as they hardly visit.
When they leave I make up the spare bed (after having washed the bedding after Ned left) and have a quick tidy. Then. Nothing.
I'm supposed to get a phonecall telling me approx when the child will arrive. However by 1830 I still have no info so I ring out of hours to ask if they have the social workers details so I can bell her, but no they do not. So I have to sit and wait.
And wait.
Sure enough around 2000 a car pulls up and Greta and a social worker pop out and come into mine. The girl seems chatty. The social worker hands me the usual forms to sign. I show Greta her room and whilst she's sat there me and the social worker have a private chat. All seems well and the social worker leaves.
But within two minutes Greta declares she's leaving, picks up her bag and gets into a car that's suddenly appeared at the end of my drive. Gone. In a flash.
As this is serious I ring out of hours to report her missing and then the police.
An hour later the police ring back to say they have her.
I go to bed the usual time but hardly sleep as I'm expecting a knock any time with her being returned to me.
Friday - kids
I find out where Greta is as she didn't return home and go about my business for the day. She's with police and won't be returned to me until the afternoon. When she does come in she's bright and chatty, but doesn't stay long. She goes out again and there isn't anything I can do to stop her. I give her my address and contact details so at least she knows where she is coming back to.
Whilst she is out I pop to a friends for a quick cuppa. On the way home I find that Greta hasn't been arrested but has been causing minor bother. She doesn't come in by curfew and so is reported as a missing person to the police again. Eventually she is returned in the early hours of the morning.
Saturday - kids
Greta is still in my care but I haven't seen that much of her. She slept at mine last night but doesn't stay that long once she has woken up. We do chat for a bit and she's funny and engaging but gets worked up too and goes out.
I find out later she gets arrested again and is returned to me late at night.
In the meantime I've been to a party at a friends but leave early to ensure I'm home in time for Greta.
When Greta does return again she doesn't stay long, and through various trials and tribulations we end up in hospital. We don't stay there long either. After we're seen by a doctor she vanishes and yet again is reported missing.
I get home about 5am and am shattered. I fall asleep instantly. Greta's not with me.
Sunday - no kids
Greta isn't going to be returned to me partly to help prevent a repeat of the last few days but partly because I myself can't have another late night as I have work. I make this clear to the police and social services and it's agreed she wont return. I wash and fold her clothes and pack her bag ready for collection later.
I find this out quite early on, so have most of the day to myself, except I'm shattered. I woke up late but couldn't sleep as much as needed otherwise I wouldnt have slept Sunday night. I also have an unfortunate incident whereby my neighbours threaten me because they do not like that I'm a foster carer and do not like that police visited my house several times (even though they were quiet and respectful). I ring the emergency duty line for foster carers and report this incident and they tell me to inform the police. So i ring 101 for about the 10th time in four days but this time it's for me. PCSOs come out about 4 hrs later and then speak to my neighbour.
I then send emails to my social worker about Greta's stay and my pesky neighbour and get on with some relaxing things. I listen to music for several hours and hang out in the garden. But I find it hard to relax as I can hear my neighbours saying bad things still. Its them being closed minded but it gets me down a bit.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
Today I get back from work and I've got no kids due to come stay, but you never know.
I do have support group though at, for it you work nights, a very inconvenient time (midday to 2) but for everyone else, probably a really convenient time. About 15 carers were there. Some of whom I've met before. All lovely and some very funny. Also a new carer I know attended to, which is good. Best bit is obviously the free lunch though I didn't pounce on the quiche quickly enough as it evaporated like free prosecco on a hen night.
Support group was good though and definately worth going. Even though I didnt have any issues to talk about it is good to meet up with other carers as you can share what you're going through and what they're going through. This group has a formal chat in a circle and then a bit of milling around.
When I get home I've been awake 22hrs or so though and am shattered.
Tues - kids - surprise kids - good surprise kids in fact
So today I have supervision - this is where your social worker pops in to check how things are going for you, and where you are with any targets you might have. Also you might discuss training and things that could be changing up ahead or things to come.
Before we get into the meat my social worker asked if I'd take two children for a few hours today. As in, this afternoon. But it's already the afternoon, so she really does mean quite soon. I know the children so I say yes. They have contact so don't need picking up til 430ish.
Before then I have my meeting with my social worker where we talk about training I'd done, my registration renewal, moving up to level 2 and the children I've looked after since April. For some reason I think it's six different children, but its five it turns out. I raise some issues with some training I done in May - that I thought part of the course was insensitive, especially given that a good wedge of carers come into foster care from the perspective of having nearly been in care themselves.
After my social worker goes I have about an hour before I need to go collect Lilo and Stitch from their new carers, who happens to live very close to me. I'm a bit early so I talk to their carer and its good to finally meet in person. The carer suggests I open the door when they return from contact as a joke. The kids were definately confused! And quite amazed. We get them to get changed out of their school uniform ASAP so I can take them back to mine for a few hours.
It's really good to see the sausages. We play Lego mainly. They don't want anything to eat, so its a easy few hours. I take them back to their carers and we talk about the arrangements for collecting them from school on Weds as I'll be having them then too.
Weds - kids - the many kids
I know I have Lilo and Stitch to collect from school later on today so I get on with working from home in the meantime. All goes well and I pick Stitch up first as Lilo has an after school club. Except - whilst I'm waiting to get let into the school which is like Fort Knox - Placement ring. I know this is only because they want me to take a child tonight. I have to be rude though and tell them I'm collecting a child right now so they need to ring me back.
Twenty minutes later they duly do and ask if I'm take a 16yo Afghani boy, a Pashtun again. I'm asked to have him until Monday and agree to this. There is no information on him however. Not even a name. I tell Placement I cant have him til 1830 earliest however as I've got Lilo and Stitch until 1800 and have to take them home.
It's all agreed and Stitch and I go to collect Lilo from play club, come home to mine and go get our tea. Fish and chips and veggie burger. It all goes down a treat though is a little rushed as I have to make sure we leave dead on time so I can get back on time.
Sure enough about 5 mins after I get in a social worker turns up with Ned. Ned from first glimpse looks sad and low. He mumbles and stumbles into the house. I say hello to him in Pashto and offer him a tea or coffee. He wants a Pepsi. The social worker gets the interpreter up and explains what he's doing in my home. It turns out he's run off from another carer over 100 miles away and will be returned there in the morning.
Ned is very quiet. I tell him I'll order him some halal chicken and rice. I show him his room and after the social worker leaves I put on the cricket on my tablet. He likes this at first. By early evening I've found him asleep on my sofa so I wake him up and pop him into bed. He's a young one to be left alone in the world for sure.
Thurs - kids
Ned is still with me in the morning at least. When he gets up I give him some rice and chicken (I bought two portions the night before) and he eats a tiny bit. Via the interpreter I tell him that a social worker from quite far away will be coming to get him by mid morning. He goes back to sleep. I've no idea what's going through his head for him but he does look sad.
By 1030 the social worker arrives and introduces herself. She meets Ned and gets the interpreter up and explains why he's being brought back to his original carer explaining its safer for him in the long run. He says he's really sad as he's lost his brother (as in separated) on the way to England. The social worker tries to reassure him saying that if his brother enters the UK immigration will ensure details are passed on so they can be matched together.
I talk to the social worker alone for a bit, updating her on the information I have. She's a happy chatty social worker, but in all stays 15mins, keen to get the 3hrs car journey back to her area over and done with.
After Ned leaves my parents come over for a short visit. We go get fish and chips and have a good catch up. Mid afternoon however I get a phonecall from Placement asking me if I can take a girl tonight until Monday. I say I need more information and the referral is sent over. I read it and agree although I know this child will be difficult. I say the girl cant come before 1700 however as my parents are visiting and I don't want to rush it as they hardly visit.
When they leave I make up the spare bed (after having washed the bedding after Ned left) and have a quick tidy. Then. Nothing.
I'm supposed to get a phonecall telling me approx when the child will arrive. However by 1830 I still have no info so I ring out of hours to ask if they have the social workers details so I can bell her, but no they do not. So I have to sit and wait.
And wait.
Sure enough around 2000 a car pulls up and Greta and a social worker pop out and come into mine. The girl seems chatty. The social worker hands me the usual forms to sign. I show Greta her room and whilst she's sat there me and the social worker have a private chat. All seems well and the social worker leaves.
But within two minutes Greta declares she's leaving, picks up her bag and gets into a car that's suddenly appeared at the end of my drive. Gone. In a flash.
As this is serious I ring out of hours to report her missing and then the police.
An hour later the police ring back to say they have her.
I go to bed the usual time but hardly sleep as I'm expecting a knock any time with her being returned to me.
Friday - kids
I find out where Greta is as she didn't return home and go about my business for the day. She's with police and won't be returned to me until the afternoon. When she does come in she's bright and chatty, but doesn't stay long. She goes out again and there isn't anything I can do to stop her. I give her my address and contact details so at least she knows where she is coming back to.
Whilst she is out I pop to a friends for a quick cuppa. On the way home I find that Greta hasn't been arrested but has been causing minor bother. She doesn't come in by curfew and so is reported as a missing person to the police again. Eventually she is returned in the early hours of the morning.
Saturday - kids
Greta is still in my care but I haven't seen that much of her. She slept at mine last night but doesn't stay that long once she has woken up. We do chat for a bit and she's funny and engaging but gets worked up too and goes out.
I find out later she gets arrested again and is returned to me late at night.
In the meantime I've been to a party at a friends but leave early to ensure I'm home in time for Greta.
When Greta does return again she doesn't stay long, and through various trials and tribulations we end up in hospital. We don't stay there long either. After we're seen by a doctor she vanishes and yet again is reported missing.
I get home about 5am and am shattered. I fall asleep instantly. Greta's not with me.
Sunday - no kids
Greta isn't going to be returned to me partly to help prevent a repeat of the last few days but partly because I myself can't have another late night as I have work. I make this clear to the police and social services and it's agreed she wont return. I wash and fold her clothes and pack her bag ready for collection later.
I find this out quite early on, so have most of the day to myself, except I'm shattered. I woke up late but couldn't sleep as much as needed otherwise I wouldnt have slept Sunday night. I also have an unfortunate incident whereby my neighbours threaten me because they do not like that I'm a foster carer and do not like that police visited my house several times (even though they were quiet and respectful). I ring the emergency duty line for foster carers and report this incident and they tell me to inform the police. So i ring 101 for about the 10th time in four days but this time it's for me. PCSOs come out about 4 hrs later and then speak to my neighbour.
I then send emails to my social worker about Greta's stay and my pesky neighbour and get on with some relaxing things. I listen to music for several hours and hang out in the garden. But I find it hard to relax as I can hear my neighbours saying bad things still. Its them being closed minded but it gets me down a bit.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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