Skip to main content

Through the eyes of an unaccompanied minor


Knock, knock.

The door opens and a smiling young woman says ‘hello’ and welcomes you inside.

Well, at least you think she does. You don’t speak her language but the lady that picked you up earlier today and brought you here by car is gesturing that you come inside. So you do, but you’re not really sure why.

You come into the front room. ‘It seems weird in here’ you think to yourself. It is nothing like the home you once knew or the places you have slept at, run from or travelled through it the past year either.

There’s pets. Or least they seem to be pets. Where you come from cats are feral and rarely seen in the house.

You’re hungry and thirsty but you don’t know how to tell the two ladies with you.

One hands the other some paperwork as you all sit in the living room together. You wonder what this document is. Am I in trouble? Am I going to be taken away again? Don’t they believe me when I say I’m 16.

After some chat that you don’t understand one of the women gets out their phone and calls someone. You don’t know who but suddenly there is someone speaking your language. What a relief. But who are they, and why am I talking to them?

The interpreter on the phone explains that as a child claiming asylum with no parent you’ve entered foster care. You’re exhausted and don’t really understand what ‘foster care’ is but quietly say ‘yes’ to everything she tells you. She explains who you’ll be living with, for how many days and that the lady who opened the door to you earlier is here to look after you. You will go food shopping tomorrow and go get some new clothes too. You make sure you ask for halal food as it’s important to you, but when asked what kind of meals you like don’t know what to say other than ‘chicken’.

You want to tell her that your leg hurts and your feet are sore but don’t realise that health services are free here. Worrying that you’ll have to pay and not having any money, you don’t say anything.

With the interpreter still on the phone you all take a tour of the house and you are shown the kitchen, bathroom and your bedroom. A few house rules are explained.

You’re still thirsty though and haven’t eaten for a while. The tea (or chay) the lady made you tastes funny and not like chay at home so you haven’t drunk much.

It seems the lady who brought you in the car is getting ready to leave as she puts the paperwork in her handbag and says a few things to the other strange lady. She shakes your hand, says something and you weakly smile back. Soon she is gone and you are left alone with a stranger.

You are still hungry though but the lady gets out her tablet and writes out ‘halal chicken’ in your language. You nod and smile, and she taps the screen a bit, but then nothing. Still hungry, you sip the drink you don’t like. Half an hour later a knock on the door. You feel nervous. Is it the police? The army? No, it’s a man handing over a bag of food. You can smell it instantly. The lady gets everything out and spreads it on the table. You sit on the floor cross-legged and go to dive into the chicken, veg and naan. Except there is a fork in the way. Should you use it? But you’re used to eating with your hands and rip off the bread to pick up the chicken with.

You’ve traveled for hours today, and the last day, and the day before. In fact, you feel like you’ve traveled non-stop for countless days. In reality it’s been over a year since you left your home. After dinner and a can of Coke you feel suddenly sleepy but don’t know whether you want to sleep here. The lady’s noticed and she writes out on her tablet, ‘Time for bed?’ and its translated into your language. You nod and smile, a bit weary but follow them upstairs. They point to the bathroom then your bedroom and leave you to it. They write ‘sleep as long as you need’ and you feel a bit uncertain but are so tired you soon fall asleep in a strangers home in an unfamiliar city, in a country you only entered 12 hours previously.



All the best, BF

NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK

We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

LGBT foster carers

Someone once told me that if just 1% of LGBT+ adults in the UK fostered then there would be no national shortage of foster carers. Unfortunately the situation is bleak - there are far more kids in care than foster carers available. You may come under the LGBT+ umbrella and would like to do something to help children but haven't considered fostering yet. Or you may have looked into it, tentatively, but not taken the plunge yet. You may be worried, apprehensive or even scared. Well.. For starters your application will not be treated negatively due to your gender identity or sexual orientation. It's illegal for one. As it happens I to come under the LGBT+ spectrum and my social worker couldn't have given a monkeys. In a good way. It was a complete non-issue. In fact during my assessment those many moons ago it was a positive - because I'd be able to identify and help LGBT+ youth in care. Maybe you're worried about how any child who comes into your care will r...

Week in the life of a respite foster carer

Inspired by a post on The Guardian I've decided to diary my week as a respite and emergency placement carer. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights. So.... Monday - no kids! I'm 'on call' this week Monday to Thursday for emergencies and I've got respite booked in for Fri, Sat and Sun. So I know I've really got M-Th to do all my boring stuff, housework, etc because once these kids come Fri I know they're full on. No call tonight but I'm kinda glad of that as I'm beat. I work two jobs to make fostering work. One full time on nightshifts ...

Why haven't you named your teddy? He should be called Dave

Fostering throws up a variety of kids. You get asked to look after children that match your capabilities and preferences but even if you had a room full of 10 year old boys they'd all be different, let alone ones that have been through a range of trauma and difficulties that led them to come into care. It is a fair to say that on average, children are on the more difficult end. I know that sounds horrid to say, but they are. It can take it's toll on carers which is why they often need breaks. However even the most well behaved little one can be a handful, simply because they're an energetic little soul, who likes to play and play and play some more. We had one of these recently. The most brilliant, bright boy you can imagine. His language and math skills are excellent for his age. He is articulate, funny, cheeky, and, well, full of beans. As soon as he got to my home, and checked out his room, we unpacked his bag and put away his clothes and his teddy on the bed. He t...