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Getting those toes wet

You know, since I became a foster carer I've had friends, friends of friends, relatives and people I've met out at clubs and parties say 'I would love to foster but I dont think I can.'

True there are some minimal requirements and a few things that will stop people from fostering, but the list isn't as demanding as some think.

So, what do you need?

1. A spare bedroom. Any child in care must have their own bedroom for their benefit, and for that of other children and adults in the home.
2. Time and space in your life. Do you have the time to look after a child? Will it work with your current set up? Will you need to make changes? Can you afford to make any changes? Are you physically able to look after a child?
3. Love. Can you love and help nurture a child that isn't yours? Children in care are often the most vulnerable who need our love and support. Whilst they may not always show it, they, deep down, appreciate the love and care they receive.

So, can you provide these three things? And are you aged 21 or above...

You can foster and..... own your own home or rent, have pets, drive or not drive (though some agencies require you to drive I must admit),  have your own children or never had children, be single, married, divorced etc, be straight or anywhere on the LGBT+ spectrum.

Now backgrounds. Yes, it is true social services will check out your background as part of the application process. Some criminal convictions will stop you fostering but not all. Also, you can foster if you've been through care yourself, or if you've had social, medical or familial  issues. What's important is your ability to foster, not what happened to you when you were 10yrs old, or when you were 18 and got drunk one night. Actually, some past issues can be seen as a plus. Not that anyone wants to go through trauma. But what I mean is, if, for example, you lived through poverty, you can empathise with children from poorer backgrounds.

So I wonder if all those people that say they'd love to foster would dip there toes in the pool if they knew they could foster. Is it the fear of the unknown stopping them, a lack of information, or a little niggling feeling that they'll be turned down? No one likes being told no, but if you never ask, how will you find out.

In the UK there are far more children needing fostering than there are places available.

Some people would like to get their toes wet but are not sure if they want to completely change their lifestyle, at least at first. Perhaps for them respite care might prove the best option.  A respite carer looks after a child for a limited time only, perhaps a weekend or week, to give their main carer a break. This can be vital for both the carer and the child, and for the respite carer, aĺlows you to mix fostering with the rest of your life, whilst assessing whether full time care might be right for you in the future.

Don't just stand on the water's edge.  Jump in. Fill in that email form asking for a call back, or ring social services yourself or pop along to an open evening.

You won't regret it and there are a thousand and one kids out there who will thank you.

NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to live in Bristol, UK

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