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Why haven't you named your teddy? He should be called Dave

Fostering throws up a variety of kids. You get asked to look after children that match your capabilities and preferences but even if you had a room full of 10 year old boys they'd all be different, let alone ones that have been through a range of trauma and difficulties that led them to come into care.

It is a fair to say that on average, children are on the more difficult end. I know that sounds horrid to say, but they are. It can take it's toll on carers which is why they often need breaks. However even the most well behaved little one can be a handful, simply because they're an energetic little soul, who likes to play and play and play some more.

We had one of these recently. The most brilliant, bright boy you can imagine. His language and math skills are excellent for his age. He is articulate, funny, cheeky, and, well, full of beans.

As soon as he got to my home, and checked out his room, we unpacked his bag and put away his clothes and his teddy on the bed. He then went round the room and found the play box. He opened it to find a bunch of action figures and soft toys. Taking them out and lining them up on the bed next to his own teddy, he asked me their names.

I was stumped. These were play things so I hadn't named them. The boy was confused about why they didn't have names as I looked after them didn't I. They were mine and they were all snuggly in my toy box. Just like he had a name and he was to have a safe night with his teddy in my home.

I thought about this. To him, was it the case that if something important enough to have a name, it should be important enough to look after properly. I was looking after the toys but hadn't named them.

The next morning we set about doing this. Harry, George, Alice, Hamza, Sophie, and more. I think these were his school friends. The very last one was Dave.

Maybe also, he was adding comfort to his room and trying to build relationships via the toys. He knew he was gonna come for another short visit in a few weeks time, so he asked before he left:

'Next time I visit, Dave will be here, right?'

All the best, Bristol Fostering.

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NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK

We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form

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