Some people see fostering as a job, some a calling, some a social necessity or duty, but no matter how you see fostering, there will be things you hate about it.
Don't get me wrong, vast majority of the time fostering is fab. Even when your tired, frustrated and wondering why you are taking your young person to meet their father for contact knowing they'll be upset for a day, fostering is still worth it.
There are a whole host of reasons why it is worth it, but that is for another time.
There are most certainly things we hate about it.
Number one pet peeve is paperwork. It's to be expected in some senses. I mean you are looking after a child who has a corporate parent (the local authority) and with that will come a certain amount of paperwork.
You have to be organised. From the get go you need some sort of lockable filing cabinet or container. Something that can be organised with tabs. Because you will get paperwork for each and every child you get. Paperwork related to their health, education, a referral, appointments, assessments and more.
It is part of the role though. To be fair most of it is just for reference but you should keep it safe. There are plenty of jobs that involve paperwork and this is a role that most certainly does.
Aside from the volume I don't like the paperwork as it almost reduces the child to black and white words on a sheet of paper when they are so much more. I dont like that its usually anonymised either even though I know that's a good habit just in case a nosey parker sees something, but the kids aren't initials, they fully fleshed people.
So yeah, I hate paperwork.
The second thing about fostering I hate is the waiting. I'm sure there is a word in the dictionary for it. The specific waiting is the gap between being rung by social services and asked to take a kid for the night/week/who knows and them turning up with a social worker and often almost no possessions.
It's a waiting that seems to transform time. You will be amazed at how quickly you can makeup two beds, nip to shop to pick up some snacks and make yourself and the cats look presentable. And then. Stop. You're ready but your new house guest hasn't turned up yet. Yes, you're not misremembering, social services said an hour, and that hour has gone, but nope, no kid, so you put the kettle on and start to doubt yourself, or wonder if the kid is refusing to come with the social worker, or if they've stopped off for kfc on the way. Then another hour goes by, so slowly you think you've gone backwards. Then, of course, when you least expect it, you get the knock on the door.
Of course if you get into the pattern of expecting the social worker to take longer than you've been told, the next time they'll be dead on time, or even early, and you won't be ready.
This waiting period is something I hate, and it is such a relief when the child turns up. Even though both you and the child will be nervous, at least the waiting is over.
The third thing I hate about fostering, silly I know, is missing the children when they're gone. For various reasons often children do not stay forever. They may stay a week, month, or even a decade, but it's likely that children will leave you. And you will miss them. You'll think about them at work, at the bus stop, at a bar... you can't help it. You imagine what they might be up to right now, who they're living with and how they're getting on at school. Years down the line you may wonder if they've had children of their own? Did they become a police officer like they wanted? Even if they only stayed a night, you'll think about them I guarantee it. And when you least expect it.
We have this feeling...though we know it comes from a place of love. We know we miss the kids and wonder about them because we care deeply about each and every one, even the naughty one who nicked your favourite pair of shoes.
They say with hate there is love, and yeah, we know deep down for all our grumbles, we love fostering.
All the best, Bristol Fostering.
Check out are FB Here
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
Don't get me wrong, vast majority of the time fostering is fab. Even when your tired, frustrated and wondering why you are taking your young person to meet their father for contact knowing they'll be upset for a day, fostering is still worth it.
There are a whole host of reasons why it is worth it, but that is for another time.
There are most certainly things we hate about it.
Number one pet peeve is paperwork. It's to be expected in some senses. I mean you are looking after a child who has a corporate parent (the local authority) and with that will come a certain amount of paperwork.
You have to be organised. From the get go you need some sort of lockable filing cabinet or container. Something that can be organised with tabs. Because you will get paperwork for each and every child you get. Paperwork related to their health, education, a referral, appointments, assessments and more.
It is part of the role though. To be fair most of it is just for reference but you should keep it safe. There are plenty of jobs that involve paperwork and this is a role that most certainly does.
Aside from the volume I don't like the paperwork as it almost reduces the child to black and white words on a sheet of paper when they are so much more. I dont like that its usually anonymised either even though I know that's a good habit just in case a nosey parker sees something, but the kids aren't initials, they fully fleshed people.
So yeah, I hate paperwork.
The second thing about fostering I hate is the waiting. I'm sure there is a word in the dictionary for it. The specific waiting is the gap between being rung by social services and asked to take a kid for the night/week/who knows and them turning up with a social worker and often almost no possessions.
It's a waiting that seems to transform time. You will be amazed at how quickly you can makeup two beds, nip to shop to pick up some snacks and make yourself and the cats look presentable. And then. Stop. You're ready but your new house guest hasn't turned up yet. Yes, you're not misremembering, social services said an hour, and that hour has gone, but nope, no kid, so you put the kettle on and start to doubt yourself, or wonder if the kid is refusing to come with the social worker, or if they've stopped off for kfc on the way. Then another hour goes by, so slowly you think you've gone backwards. Then, of course, when you least expect it, you get the knock on the door.
Of course if you get into the pattern of expecting the social worker to take longer than you've been told, the next time they'll be dead on time, or even early, and you won't be ready.
This waiting period is something I hate, and it is such a relief when the child turns up. Even though both you and the child will be nervous, at least the waiting is over.
The third thing I hate about fostering, silly I know, is missing the children when they're gone. For various reasons often children do not stay forever. They may stay a week, month, or even a decade, but it's likely that children will leave you. And you will miss them. You'll think about them at work, at the bus stop, at a bar... you can't help it. You imagine what they might be up to right now, who they're living with and how they're getting on at school. Years down the line you may wonder if they've had children of their own? Did they become a police officer like they wanted? Even if they only stayed a night, you'll think about them I guarantee it. And when you least expect it.
We have this feeling...though we know it comes from a place of love. We know we miss the kids and wonder about them because we care deeply about each and every one, even the naughty one who nicked your favourite pair of shoes.
They say with hate there is love, and yeah, we know deep down for all our grumbles, we love fostering.
All the best, Bristol Fostering.
Check out are FB Here
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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