Waiting for that placement call

So, you've been approved as a foster carer, and know somepoint soon a child will be placed with you.

You're nervous, worried but joyful. You want it to go well; you want to be a great carer for the child coming to you, but it's a strange paradox, because you wouldn't want any child to have to come into care.

You've tidied, cleaned, know your home is safe and secure. You've got an age range in mind, so you've bought some toys, books and maybe some clothes, but until you get that call, you don't know who you're getting.

And that call. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

And then it's an email.

Depending on who you're fostering with, the placement team will contact you with a mixture of emails and/or phone calls.

For me, I usually get an email with a profile of a child and some information, and then email back if I think that child fits my situation, then the social worker rings me to discuss. I'm sure some councils operate mainly via phone calls, and some mainly via email, but mine's a mix and match approach.

So you've got a child matched to you (matching is where they consider your situation and the needs of the child and work out who is best suited to look after that child). You know when they'll be arriving, and then the pacing start.

You keep checking the bed is made and toys laid out, and wonder if you've got the right sort of food in your cupboard, and will they like the cat, are you wearing the most friendly first impression clothes. You worry about the smallest of thing because it matters.

This child could be spending anywhere from one day to over a decade with you. You want it to go well. But you must remember that usually the child will be just as nervous too.

This could be their first time in care, or they could come from another placement, or been in and out of care. They could be fresh as, or know the ropes.

A few things I wish I'd done better (aka, tips).
- Learn the child's name from the get go, especially if its hard to pronouce. Even ask them how to pronouce it. If you can put the child's name on their bedroom door - they'll notice the small things (I bought a set of spare scrabble tiles and stick them to the door; these can be easily swapped for different placements).
- Personalise their room if you can, even if only staying a few nights. Eg bedding more suited to their age, and if you have an older child put away the toddler toys
- For older kids a takeaway is a good icebreaker on their first night with you.
- If you have pets, use these to break the ice too. Mostly for younger children. Show the child how to pet them and get them involved by having the child feed them too.

You'll be super nervous when you know that first child is coming. But those nerves mean you care. You want it to go right because it means the world. And you could mean the world to the child too. Whether you look after them for a few days to a few years, that call is important.

Dont forget to put your phone on loud!

Love Bristol Fostering. x

NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK

We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form