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New shoes and beaming smiles

If you take on a child from the day they come into care, the chances are even if they've had time to pack, they won't come with much.

If they haven't had a chance to pack, for example if they were picked up from school, they'll probably come with just their school uniform and nothing else.

So, you've agreed to take on a child, probably at the last minute and you know the likelihood is they'll come with very little.

What do you need to have ready?

And what will you buy them?

For me I always have the spare room made up just in case I get called. So bed made - I use bright coloured or animal design bedding to make it more universal - clean towels and flannel, spare comb, brush and toothbrush. The room has some toys and games in it, but also room for the child to put their belongings.

I look after children of a wide age range so I dont have too many clothes spare but I do have packs of underwear of different sizes as this is the main thing kids seem not to have and it's undignifying to not have any clean or spare available, so I do have packs of pants and boxer shorts in the drawer.

After the kid has arrived and settled one of the things I try to do is make an assessment of their clothing needs as soon as I can. Sometimes they're desperately short and unless you're willing to spend your own money you need to get social services to approve a budget, and the quicker you ask them, the sooner they cough the money up.

Sometimes it's obvious the kid is short of clothes, and other times you need to ask them what they brought with them. Don't be embarrassed. Do talk about pants, bras etc with kids you've only just met because you need to make sure they have enough of all clothes.

I've had complete different ends in terms of clothes for emergency kids. I had one young lad who had a properly packed bag with everything sorted neatly. Spare pants, joggers, t-shirts, sweaters, slippers, the works. He also had a mini travel bag with his toothbrush from home and his medication. But that is unusual.

I've had an emergency kid come in say he needs daily medication but that he had left his pills at home (a social worker fetched them).

The contrasting end though was a lad who came tome in his school uniform with his school bag and had only brought a t-shirt and hoodie. And one small toy. Nothing else, no spare socks, pants, jeans, pyjamas. Nothing.

This was obvious. I didn't really need to ask. I could see he had nothing with him. On the first night I gave him some underwear from my spares drawer but it was late at night when he arrived so we couldn't go shopping for anything there and then. In the morning whilst he was getting ready for school I asked him what shoes he would like, as well as basic clothes, and popped out to get them whilst he was at school.

I was on to social services first thing and got a shopping budget.

When we got to the weekend we did a full shop. He was a bit nervous. I don't think he's ever done a big clothes shop. We took a list with us of clothes he needed, prioritising the essentials first. Starting with school shoes, then jeans, more socks and underwear, then onto t-shirts, hoodies, coat, hat and gloves. That was our budget blown but he still had a few items to get which I'd said I'd get him. He had a funeral to go to and wanted a new shirt and tie.

He seemed to both enjoy shopping and be hesitant. After every item he had picked out, he was checking and looking for reassurance that he could then pick out the next item. That it wasn't a joke. Yes, we really were buying all these things for him.

Once I paid he proudly carried his shopping bags home, and literally soon as we got home, tried on everything.

He was beaming with a massive smile. He settled on a new pair of joggers to wear with a new t-shirt and hoodie as well the new shoes i had gotten during the week and then wore it all weekend.

That broad smile is something I think I will always remember. He was quite literally beaming, and although coming into care is traumatic, I think he will always remember the time he got to buy some new outfits and have bags of new clothes just for him.

When you become a carer if you take on a kid as they come into care, do push social services for a clothing budget. If the kid needs clothes, they need them, simple as. Ask the kid, check what they've brought with them, and get onto your social worker ASAP. Don't be embarrassed about walking round a shop picking out boxers with a lad you've just met either.

All the best, Bristol Fostering

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NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK

We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form

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