Bristol Fostering

Inspired by a post on The Guardian I've decided to diary my week as a respite and emergency placement carer. Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights. Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights. So.... Monday - no kids! I'm 'on call' this week Monday to Thursday for emergencies and I've got respite booked in for Fri, Sat and Sun. So I know I've really got M-Th to do all my boring stuff, housework, etc because once these kids come Fri I know they're full on. No call tonight but I'm kinda glad of that as I'm beat. I work two jobs to make fostering work. One full time on nightshifts ...

We have heard this numerous times. And each time whilst the person saying it is well meaning I feel like bopping them on the head. Lucky? Really. Lucky that they were sexually abused as a young child, filmed and the abuse put online for thousands of paedophiles to see. Lucky that their parent has become slowly more unwell and has increasingly relied on them to bring up their younger siblings to the point where they have no friends and barely go to school as they're too busy doing all the jobs mum should be doing. Lucky that their parent lost their job through no fault of their own, became depressed and turned to alcohol, becoming abusive and forgetting to do even the basics in their household, neglecting them. No children in care aren't lucky. They've experienced difficult times and been plucked from their life and asked to live with strangers in a house that looks and smells different to the one they call home. They may have to move areas and schools too. S...

If you take on a child from the day they come into care, the chances are even if they've had time to pack, they won't come with much. If they haven't had a chance to pack, for example if they were picked up from school, they'll probably come with just their school uniform and nothing else. So, you've agreed to take on a child, probably at the last minute and you know the likelihood is they'll come with very little. What do you need to have ready? And what will you buy them? For me I always have the spare room made up just in case I get called. So bed made - I use bright coloured or animal design bedding to make it more universal - clean towels and flannel, spare comb, brush and toothbrush. The room has some toys and games in it, but also room for the child to put their belongings. I look after children of a wide age range so I dont have too many clothes spare but I do have packs of underwear of different sizes as this is the main thing kids seem not ...

‘You love me, don’t you?’ Oh boy jeez. That’s a shock. It might be one of the hardest questions anyone can be asked. Love is a big deal. Whether between family members, romantic partners and even friends. But when it’s a foster child asking you what do you say? And where does the question come from? I mean is it harmless and flippant? Probably not. The child may have come from a neglected home where love has never been shown. No love between parents. No love between other family members. Just no love. And yet the child knows there is something called love, and that it can exist between parent and child. So as you’re acting in place of their parent to an extent, can you or even should you love your foster child? To me the answer is simply yes. Of course you should. You help take care of them, watch them grow, clean a scrape when they fall over and put them to bed at night. Even if you know the child will stay with you just a few months you should still ...

One of the worries I’ve heard people discuss when thinking of fostering is whether they will be supported. In essence, what support will they get if they, as the carer, are having a difficult time. We all have trying times. Whether with our own kids, the grankids, at work, or with our pesky neighbor whose dog barks early in the morning. But in most situations there is someone you can have a whinge and a moan to, or let loose with. But fostering is different. Due to issues of confidentiality you cannot go telling every Tom, Dick and Harry that young George is being a pain in the you know what this week because he saw his Dad at contact and is now confused. So, how do you get support as a carer? The main two areas of support come from social services and other carers. Every carer has their own social worker who are the first port of call.. however you may not want to email in or ring up for things that seem ‘trivial’ but are still an issue. For me soci...