Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster care and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 15mins and most 5hrs. Some of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was 21 nights.
I've looked after 18 kids to date.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids
I don't have any kids in the diary today and I'm away Weds onwards so though I'm marked as available I don't really expect a phone call because any kid would only be able to stay with me until Tues evening. One overnight is generally not that handy. If you're only free one night you'd only be used as a last resort, ie the kid stays with you or in a police cell. A last resort because its better that the kid stays somewhere offering the maximum amount of stability.
If you are a respite carer or emergency carer and you need to go away, you just let your social worker or placement team you're unavailable, so for Weds and Thurs I've marked myself away.
In the morning I send my social worker an email with a number of updates and a few things that need a response, though I don't hear back.
I do get an email from another social worker regarding me possibly hosting a 'skills exchange' in the future. This is where one foster carer who knows a lot about a given subject talks to other foster carers who want to know more. I proposed hosting a skills exchange on tackling offensive language / promoting positive language around LGBT issues.
On Friday I have Lilo and Stitch back for a weekend so I contact their carer about pick up arrangements for Friday.
It feels so quiet in my house tonight. Two weeks ago I had two primary aged kids running around. Now, well, it's just me.
Tuesday - no kids
I didn't get any kids last night and I know I wont be asked tonight as I'm away Weds and Thurs. Nothing in the world of fostering happens today. Or Weds, or Thurs.
Friday - kids
I got back from my mini break late on Thursday and the house looks a mess. I have Lilo and Stitch's carer over first thing to drop off their belongings ready for the weekend. We have a 30 min catch up about the kids and I show her their rooms as she's never been here before.
They're due to be collected from school at 430 as one has a sports club so the other has play club. As I've been away I need to catch up on my business from home in the morning, and then do my notes for a meeting I'm having with my social worker at 1pm.
The meeting is very upsetting and gets interrupted by a phone call from school asking me to pick Lilo up early. I cant as I really need to do this meeting.
Lilo is aggressive when I pick him up. Throwing and upturning things in the school reception area but settles well when we're home. As we get soaked going to and from school (to get Stitch later too) we have a takeaway for dinner. Bed time is no issue but I'm shattered.
Saturday - kids
It's Lilo and Stitch's 13th respite with me, and they know the drill. Saturday we go out. It's difficult sometimes though because one of them has not always behaved the best, but the other has been good as gold, and so it's hard to decide whether to still take them out. Today its Lilo being on 'best behaviour' and Stitch being really difficult. I get a lot of 'I hate you' and stomping off from Stitch. I get nothing at all from Lilo, which is remarkable considering how aggressive he was yesterday.
I take them out to town and spend some vouchers they have, and then we go to Subway for lunch. Their choice. At least it's on the whole healthier then Pizza Hut and an awful lot cheaper too. We also pop into CEX to see if there are any decent second hand PS3 games and I pick up a few for them and a few for much older kids.
On the way home we pop to the park in Eastville and go to the duck pond. They enjoy running around the woods nearby and the park is really pretty, I must admit. We get home late afternoon, have tea and get into our bedtime routine. They get off to bed easily, but again I'm shattered.
Sunday - kids!
The kids are due to go back to their carer after dinner, so a whole day to fill. This is easy mind. They ask to bake a cake so we pop to the shops to get the ingredients and duly bake said cake. It doesn't taste that good. It's okay. It's a cake covered in chocolate so of course the kids like it, but it's not really that good.
During the day I garden with Lilo who enjoys digging great big holes in the front garden really for planting shrubs. The fork and spade are nearly as big as him so it's quite comical. He's surprisingly deft of wielding them and promises me he will not stab himself in the foot with the fork. Oh dear. Imagine if he did.
Stitch happily plays computer games whilst we garden, and tea time goes well, as does packing up their belongings. However when I tell them I am taking them back to their main carer Lilo has a wobble, announcing that he is going to run off. Except he doesn't. It's for effect and as I don't rise to it, he calms down and plays happily again. I take them home with no hiccups.
Afterwards I have about an hour before a friend popped over. I have a mini tidy and then type up my notes for Lilo and Stitch to send to my social worker and their social worker. My friend pops over but can only stay briefly due to poor buses on a Sunday. It is good to see them though. We chat about my foster kids and their foster kids.
Time for bed soon though. I am beat.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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