Hello!
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids!
So I'm available to foster all this week but so far have nothing planned for Mon-Th but a respite placement scheduled for the weekend. So Monday I get on with the mundane really. Cleaning, sorting, tidying etc.
My social worker emails during the day and asks if I have any ideas for the upcoming family fun day in July. I do! Plenty. So I ping back a list of suggestions.
I also bug my social worker about another thing - a carer from outside of Bristol has asked me to look after their child for regular respite and I'd said I'd approach my own social worker about this. So I do, and the idea isnt rejected completely out of hand. My social worker said they'd contact the carer's social worker and we can go from there.
I contact Lilo and Stitch's main carer to sort what's what for the weekend and have an email chat with their social worker to talk about their recent difficult behaviour.
Tuesday - no kids!
Wasn't asked for any kids on Monday so Tuesday morning I get on with some things around the house. I do some work from home and get on with the garden which is looking a right mess! Weds I have a meeting with my social worker so I get prepared with some questions and points. I also have some examples of the toys/games I suggested for the family fun day so I get them ready.
In the afternoon my social worker rings. I thought she might ask for a kid tonight! but no, she asks for Thurs instead. I get some information about the child and agree to ring their main carer to chat further about them. It's a yes from me even though they sound quite difficult. Still its one day only and if they are difficult all day.. well there are only so many hours in the day.
In the evening I have a training course which goes well. A lot of food for thought. At the end a longer version of the course was suggested which I might look into.
Wednesday - no kids!
I didn't get any kids Tuesday night but I do still have a busy day. I was going to visit a friend in the morning but that was cancelled, however in the afternoon I have a meeting with my social worker about changing the type of care I offer slightly. This meeting goes well but I don't say yes straight away.
I have a moan though at my social worker that I still haven't got my new ID card. It's not their fault mind but they need to bug the person responsible for this! Been waiting about six weeks I think. I still haven't got my supervision notes from six weeks earlier either!
In the evening I go visit two new foster carers and new friends. Really good to meet in person and I eat so well. Much better than beans, beans and more beans.
Thursday - kids!
I have a boy coming for a short while today for 'daycare'. This is where kids come during the day only but don't stay overnight. Usually this is because their school is closed (inset day etc) and their carer works. The boy is dropped off lunchtime and their carer collects them dinner time. In the meantime they're both varying quite easy to handle, and quite hard. Cheeky too. They can't concentrate on a sausage and so we play a lot of things for about 10mins each. We go through the child friendly XBox games and he tries to get the cats to fight each other so one ends up biting him. He enjoyed the park but doesn't really get 'no' and so asks a boy to use his bike, which he does but then falls off. He also asks a man to use his mini motorbike which he does too and falls of quite a few times but doesn't seem bothered!
This was the short notice child arranged on Tuesday.
After the boy leaves with his main carer I tidy up, catch up with myself and head out to see a friend to relax before Lilo and Stitch come tomorrow. When I get back in I email my social worker to let her know how today went (and as a prompt to put through the form to pay me!).
Friday - kids!
Lilo and Stitch are coming after school for what is quite likely their last weekend stay with me. Before they come I give the house a good clean through, put their favourite bedding out and brace myself for the usual hurricane.
They arrive dead on time and carer stays in my house for about 2mins before scarpering. Hehe.
Kids are good in the main and excited to be staying over. Before bed I talk to Stitch about waking us all up at silly-o-clock and they say they understand but I'm not convinced. I'm quite strict this time and tell them if they wake me or Lilo up early that none of us will go out Sat and the one who wakes us up will have to watch the rest of us play XBox all day.
Saturday - kids!
So... Stitch woke us all up at 6am. Initially they were trying to whisper but after about 15mins went into Lilo's room and woke him up. He shooed her away so she sang to herself loudly for quite some time. At dead on 0700 she shouted through my door for me to get up but I said I was having an hour extra in bed to make up for being woken up an hour early. Obviously I'm not going to get any more sleep but its to make the point.
Soooo when I do get up at 0800 first thing I do is ask Stitch why we were woken at 0600 and ask if she remembered I said we wouldnt be going out and that whomever woke us all up would have to watch the rest of us on the Xbox. Initially she said she didnt wake us up (being defensive) but it was obvious she had so she then said she forgot what I said the night before but I stuck to it. So we didnt go out at all except to the post office and Stitch had to watch whilst me and Lilo played XBox from 9am ish til dinner time. By early afternoon there were cries of 'I'm bored' but I think the message hit home.
After dinner we all gardened together, which was great fun.
Kids were a bit excited by bedtime, probably because they didnt run around like usual, so as they took ages to get changed we didnt do a 'Just Dance' video like normal but still did reading - we already do reading.
Sunday - kids
Lo and behold I actually had my first 'lie-in' with these two. By lie-in, I mean 0730. Stitch did not sing, scream, shout, bang things etc and so both me and Stitch woke up around 0730, which felt amazing. As soon as I got up Stitch wanted praise for not getting us all up and asked if she could play XBox later. Throughout the day she kept reminding me how good she'd been and so I lumped praise on her. This is an unusual occurrence. Pity its come when they're probably leaving me.
As it may well be their last weekend with me we do some fun things. I let them in my greenhouse for one (closely supervised) and they try lots of my edibles I'm growing! Rocket, chives, mustard leaf, chard, spinach etc. There were some 'yucks' and 'yums'. Both loved the mustard leaf.
We pop to visit a friend in Staple Hill for a bit and go to Page Park which they've never been to. I havent for ages and have forgotten how fabulous it is. There is a climbing frame area then a wooden play area (equipment was all chunky logs etc), plus an aviary, cafe and bit open green areas for footie and frisbee.
On the way back we pop and get pizza and cake for dinner (yes unhealthy, but a treat) and when we get in we do some silly things like painting our nails with felt tip pen.
They both get to bed well. I'm quite sad as this could well be their last night staying. I need to find out from their social worker ASAP.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
For those of you unfamiliar, I offer respite foster carer and cover emergencies.
Respite is where you give either another foster carer or a child's family a break by having their child for usually 1-7 nights, quite often just one or two nights.
Emergency placements are where Social Services phone you and ask you to take a child that night for at least one night. I've done this a few times and least notice I've had is 30mins and most 5hrs. A couple of these kids have stayed just one night; longest was five nights.
I've decided to start twice a month keeping a diary of my fostering experiences as such a carer.
Monday - no kids!
So I'm available to foster all this week but so far have nothing planned for Mon-Th but a respite placement scheduled for the weekend. So Monday I get on with the mundane really. Cleaning, sorting, tidying etc.
My social worker emails during the day and asks if I have any ideas for the upcoming family fun day in July. I do! Plenty. So I ping back a list of suggestions.
I also bug my social worker about another thing - a carer from outside of Bristol has asked me to look after their child for regular respite and I'd said I'd approach my own social worker about this. So I do, and the idea isnt rejected completely out of hand. My social worker said they'd contact the carer's social worker and we can go from there.
I contact Lilo and Stitch's main carer to sort what's what for the weekend and have an email chat with their social worker to talk about their recent difficult behaviour.
Tuesday - no kids!
Wasn't asked for any kids on Monday so Tuesday morning I get on with some things around the house. I do some work from home and get on with the garden which is looking a right mess! Weds I have a meeting with my social worker so I get prepared with some questions and points. I also have some examples of the toys/games I suggested for the family fun day so I get them ready.
In the afternoon my social worker rings. I thought she might ask for a kid tonight! but no, she asks for Thurs instead. I get some information about the child and agree to ring their main carer to chat further about them. It's a yes from me even though they sound quite difficult. Still its one day only and if they are difficult all day.. well there are only so many hours in the day.
In the evening I have a training course which goes well. A lot of food for thought. At the end a longer version of the course was suggested which I might look into.
Wednesday - no kids!
I didn't get any kids Tuesday night but I do still have a busy day. I was going to visit a friend in the morning but that was cancelled, however in the afternoon I have a meeting with my social worker about changing the type of care I offer slightly. This meeting goes well but I don't say yes straight away.
I have a moan though at my social worker that I still haven't got my new ID card. It's not their fault mind but they need to bug the person responsible for this! Been waiting about six weeks I think. I still haven't got my supervision notes from six weeks earlier either!
In the evening I go visit two new foster carers and new friends. Really good to meet in person and I eat so well. Much better than beans, beans and more beans.
Thursday - kids!
I have a boy coming for a short while today for 'daycare'. This is where kids come during the day only but don't stay overnight. Usually this is because their school is closed (inset day etc) and their carer works. The boy is dropped off lunchtime and their carer collects them dinner time. In the meantime they're both varying quite easy to handle, and quite hard. Cheeky too. They can't concentrate on a sausage and so we play a lot of things for about 10mins each. We go through the child friendly XBox games and he tries to get the cats to fight each other so one ends up biting him. He enjoyed the park but doesn't really get 'no' and so asks a boy to use his bike, which he does but then falls off. He also asks a man to use his mini motorbike which he does too and falls of quite a few times but doesn't seem bothered!
This was the short notice child arranged on Tuesday.
After the boy leaves with his main carer I tidy up, catch up with myself and head out to see a friend to relax before Lilo and Stitch come tomorrow. When I get back in I email my social worker to let her know how today went (and as a prompt to put through the form to pay me!).
Friday - kids!
Lilo and Stitch are coming after school for what is quite likely their last weekend stay with me. Before they come I give the house a good clean through, put their favourite bedding out and brace myself for the usual hurricane.
They arrive dead on time and carer stays in my house for about 2mins before scarpering. Hehe.
Kids are good in the main and excited to be staying over. Before bed I talk to Stitch about waking us all up at silly-o-clock and they say they understand but I'm not convinced. I'm quite strict this time and tell them if they wake me or Lilo up early that none of us will go out Sat and the one who wakes us up will have to watch the rest of us play XBox all day.
Saturday - kids!
So... Stitch woke us all up at 6am. Initially they were trying to whisper but after about 15mins went into Lilo's room and woke him up. He shooed her away so she sang to herself loudly for quite some time. At dead on 0700 she shouted through my door for me to get up but I said I was having an hour extra in bed to make up for being woken up an hour early. Obviously I'm not going to get any more sleep but its to make the point.
Soooo when I do get up at 0800 first thing I do is ask Stitch why we were woken at 0600 and ask if she remembered I said we wouldnt be going out and that whomever woke us all up would have to watch the rest of us on the Xbox. Initially she said she didnt wake us up (being defensive) but it was obvious she had so she then said she forgot what I said the night before but I stuck to it. So we didnt go out at all except to the post office and Stitch had to watch whilst me and Lilo played XBox from 9am ish til dinner time. By early afternoon there were cries of 'I'm bored' but I think the message hit home.
After dinner we all gardened together, which was great fun.
Kids were a bit excited by bedtime, probably because they didnt run around like usual, so as they took ages to get changed we didnt do a 'Just Dance' video like normal but still did reading - we already do reading.
Sunday - kids
Lo and behold I actually had my first 'lie-in' with these two. By lie-in, I mean 0730. Stitch did not sing, scream, shout, bang things etc and so both me and Stitch woke up around 0730, which felt amazing. As soon as I got up Stitch wanted praise for not getting us all up and asked if she could play XBox later. Throughout the day she kept reminding me how good she'd been and so I lumped praise on her. This is an unusual occurrence. Pity its come when they're probably leaving me.
As it may well be their last weekend with me we do some fun things. I let them in my greenhouse for one (closely supervised) and they try lots of my edibles I'm growing! Rocket, chives, mustard leaf, chard, spinach etc. There were some 'yucks' and 'yums'. Both loved the mustard leaf.
We pop to visit a friend in Staple Hill for a bit and go to Page Park which they've never been to. I havent for ages and have forgotten how fabulous it is. There is a climbing frame area then a wooden play area (equipment was all chunky logs etc), plus an aviary, cafe and bit open green areas for footie and frisbee.
On the way back we pop and get pizza and cake for dinner (yes unhealthy, but a treat) and when we get in we do some silly things like painting our nails with felt tip pen.
They both get to bed well. I'm quite sad as this could well be their last night staying. I need to find out from their social worker ASAP.
All the best, BF
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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