Setting up a room for your new foster kid

Whenever a child comes to stay, you, as the adult in the situation, get nervous. Nervous about meeting them, whether they'll like you or not, how they'll get on with your pets and more besides.

If you're nervous, imagine how the child feels.

One way you can help them settle down is to make their room comfortable for them. Even if the child is staying just one night, I still recommend tailoring a room to the child if at all possible.

Below are some of my tips for making a room more child friendly. Mind these are my views and not everyone is the same. Also different children would benefit from varying things, and what you provide them may depend on how long the child will be staying with you.

Note some children will come into your care with lots of belongings, and some with almost none. Generally emergency kids come with the least. However whatever possessions they come with do treasure them. Whether that be a family photo or a teddy bear that really stinks.

• If I've ever thrown away belongings from a foster kid I've checked they're sure, double checked and triple checked. Also I once had a child throw away Xmas cards from their parents - I put these in the draw when I found them in the bin - three months later they wanted them back and I was able to pass them onto their current carer.

Sooooo things I would recommend for the bedroom (and bathroom too, I guess):

For all children new to your home

• Own toothbrush, brush/comb, deodorant, flannel and towel.
• If the kid only stays with my briefly, eg an overnight, I let them take with them these items except the towel.
• Show them around the bathroom, eg where sanitary products are kept for teen girls, how to work the shower/bath, how to lock the door, where to put rubbish (bin/recycling)
• Put their name on the door - hand draw a sign or use something like spare Scrabble tiles
• Have a place in the bedroom for them to put their bag, hang their coat and place their belongings. Some kids will come with almost nothing and stay a few nights, but will still want to hang up their coat (if they have one!), whilst other kids will be moving in with you permanently and need a place for their things. 
• In my smaller bedroom I have coat hook on door, two under bed storage boxes and a set of drawers 
• In my bigger bedroom I have a coat hook on the door too, plus a wardrobe and set of drawers
• A noticeboard is good for precious items like photos and drawings
• Both my rooms have somewhere to doodle/draw - a white board in one and a chalkboard in the other.
• I have some toys, especially soft toys. Not too many as to crowd the room. I have found that all kids will at least pick them up, inc a 16yo lad who slept with soft toys in his bed!
• A small box /case where small precious items can be stored, eg jewellery
• A mirror at child height. Remember children arent as tall as adult, sounds silly I know.
• A bin! So they can keep their room tidy. Show them where it is too.

The overall decoration of both my spare rooms is quite playful. Nothing very specific, eg I dont a football themed room or anything, but both rooms have animal rugs, some pictures/posters on the walls, are brightly coloured and have toys/games. One has a TV

In addition:

For respite kids

• Universal but bright bedding, eg bright colour blocks. Can be used by many children. I try to use the same bedding every time the same respite child comes back.

For emergency kids (who most likely will only stay 1-5 nights, never to be seen again)
These kids may come to your care late into the night, often in fraught situations

• A stress toy. Eg a squeezie
• Some food for them to eat at their leisure. They may be too scared to take food from you if offered but will eat in private. I usually put crisps, a snack bar and some fruit. I also add a bottle of flavoured water and a plastic cup.
• Something comforting they can hide in/under, eg blankets

For long term children

• Once they've been with you for at least a few days I would start to customise their room with them. Take them shopping to get bedding they like, posters and small things that will make the room theirs. Perhaps their own alarm clock, or for older children, a makeup mirror. 
• Let them pick out their own toiletries and towels/flannels the first time you do a shop together.
• If it seems they'll stay with you longer, once you get to say a month, if they want to redecorate, do it with them. 

Any of you got any tips for bedroom/bathroom?

All the best, BF

NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK

We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form