Someone once told me the aims of fostering were twofold.
Firstly, and more importantly, a foster carer in looking after a child in care is providing a safe place for them.
Somewhere where they won't be hit by Dad, or won't see Mum take drugs. Somewhere where their possessions are respected and clothes won't be sold off. for peanuts. Somewhere they have time and space to do their schoolwork, play with friends and be able to sleep safely at night, knowing no one will sneak into their room.
The second aim, which in the long run one could argue is more important, is to let the child you're looking after be a kid again.
Many children coming into care have seen and experienced things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, and these events have made the child grow up beyond their years.
A lot of children with siblings will have cooked and cleaned before coming into care. Even eight year olds may have looked after their younger siblings.
I've known 10 year olds who can cook, do the washing, make beds, hoover, you name it.
Whilst I think children should do jobs round the house for their pocket money, it should be age appropriate. A 10 year old might help feed the cats but they shouldnt be cleaning the whole house from top to bottom.
But many kids, with parents who were chaotic, would have taken on the parental role of doing chores.
This also means, perhaps, no one was looking out for their needs. No one was helping them with their homework, or cleaning their room for them.
To get them back to being a child, I think it's important to give the child age appropriate jobs to do, but ensure they have time to play, to be silly, to watch TV, to hang out with friends. Really, just to be kids.
Some kids will reject this mind. They'll think its strange that someone is looking after them, quite literally. They're so used to taking care of others that they push back against help you offer them.
There are ways and means though. If, for example, a child was used to cooking for their siblings, perhaps encourage their abilities into an interest in cooking, rather than a reliance. They are no longer cooking because the adults in the house are drugged up, but because they want to.
The biggest joys we've had recently are seeing two teenagers come into our care understandably apprehensive, worried and confused, laughing uncontrollably the next day as we play games.
I mean laughing so hard they were proper laughing. Uncontrollably.
The next day one of them told me they forgot they'd come into care.
It is hard to get kids who've come into care back to being just kids. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of small tiny tiny changes, and, eventually, the kid may just become a kid again.
Much like me. I'm the biggest kid around.
Check out are FB Here
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
Firstly, and more importantly, a foster carer in looking after a child in care is providing a safe place for them.
Somewhere where they won't be hit by Dad, or won't see Mum take drugs. Somewhere where their possessions are respected and clothes won't be sold off. for peanuts. Somewhere they have time and space to do their schoolwork, play with friends and be able to sleep safely at night, knowing no one will sneak into their room.
The second aim, which in the long run one could argue is more important, is to let the child you're looking after be a kid again.
Many children coming into care have seen and experienced things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, and these events have made the child grow up beyond their years.
A lot of children with siblings will have cooked and cleaned before coming into care. Even eight year olds may have looked after their younger siblings.
I've known 10 year olds who can cook, do the washing, make beds, hoover, you name it.
Whilst I think children should do jobs round the house for their pocket money, it should be age appropriate. A 10 year old might help feed the cats but they shouldnt be cleaning the whole house from top to bottom.
But many kids, with parents who were chaotic, would have taken on the parental role of doing chores.
This also means, perhaps, no one was looking out for their needs. No one was helping them with their homework, or cleaning their room for them.
To get them back to being a child, I think it's important to give the child age appropriate jobs to do, but ensure they have time to play, to be silly, to watch TV, to hang out with friends. Really, just to be kids.
Some kids will reject this mind. They'll think its strange that someone is looking after them, quite literally. They're so used to taking care of others that they push back against help you offer them.
There are ways and means though. If, for example, a child was used to cooking for their siblings, perhaps encourage their abilities into an interest in cooking, rather than a reliance. They are no longer cooking because the adults in the house are drugged up, but because they want to.
The biggest joys we've had recently are seeing two teenagers come into our care understandably apprehensive, worried and confused, laughing uncontrollably the next day as we play games.
I mean laughing so hard they were proper laughing. Uncontrollably.
The next day one of them told me they forgot they'd come into care.
It is hard to get kids who've come into care back to being just kids. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of small tiny tiny changes, and, eventually, the kid may just become a kid again.
Much like me. I'm the biggest kid around.
Check out are FB Here
NB Bristol Fostering is a personal blog and not affiliated with any fostering agency. The author just happens to be a foster carer in Bristol, UK
We do recommend Bristol Council though as they're fab. Bristol Council fostering enquiry form
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